Failure Friday?
Courtesy of Marla Singer
True, we did hear catatonic murmurings through the bathroom door before the announcement last Friday as Sheila Bair bobbed her head left and right rhythmically on the floor of her shower, knees pulled into her chest, rocking back and forth, hypnotically repeating “…absolutely safe… …fully protected… …ever lost a penny of insured deposits… …none ever will… …none ever will…” over and over again as the soothing hot water concealed the tears that would otherwise be streaming down her face.
*Knock Knock Knock*
“Uh, Chairwoman Bair? Five minutes to air.”
*No Answer*
“I’ve got your lucky penny here. Do you want to rub it?”
*Chanting Stops*
“Pooh Bear is out here waiting on your chair….”
*Silence*
“The cafeteria has butterscotch pudding tonight, your favorite!”
*Water Turns Off*
“I’m coming goddamn it!”
Strangely, silence is all we hear today. Anti-psychotics? Sedatives? A whole bottle of them? That there is good staff work.
Unfortunately, Upjohn is not public.

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