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Friday, March 29, 2024

Let the Last Anonymous Word be Yours

Sometimes there is nothing left to say, and talking isn't doing any good anyway, and you're still more angry than the $17 US dollars (or 0.05 bitcoin) it will cost to deliver your final message. Act on your feelings while the moment is hot, send (back) the Gift of Sh*t (but really), and try to proceed to closure. 

I am not 100% satisfied with the box of shit I received in the mail

By , Pando

On-demand fecal delivery (or “shit-tech”) is one of the hottest sectors around. And leading the way is Shit Express, whose super-simple elevator pitch is that for $16.95 [pay with Pay Pal], or 0.05 bitcoin, it will anonymously send a piece of shit to someone on your behalf.

Because we always aim to stay on the bleeding edge of emergent technology, Pando had to try out the service for itself. So one week ago, my colleague Michael Carney purchased a box of shit and had it sent to my address in Brooklyn. And today, I found in my stairwell a neatly gift-wrapped box from Slovenia addressed to “David F’ing Holmes” with this inside:

[…]

Note: I confirmed with Michael that he addressed it “David F’ing Holmes,” meaning that the shit definitely came from him and not somebody I’ve legitimately pissed off.

It even came affixed with this wonderful message on the side:

More here > 

Order a package here > 

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