Posts Tagged ‘chimps’

ONION Medley

Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles): 

U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen

Operation Enduring Freedom

WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice. 

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.

"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."

"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."

Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."

"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…

Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:

Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time

TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …

Similarly unsurprising…

Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.

"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine


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Market News

News You Can Use From Phil's Stock World

 

Financial Markets and Economy

Fed Begins Crawl Toward Rate Hike as Near-Term Risks Diminish (Bloomberg)

Federal Reserve policy makers took a step toward raising interest rates later this year but stopped short of signaling that the move could come as soon as September.

A New Normal for the U.S. Economy: Slow and Steady (Bloomberg View)

For the first time since 2009, all sectors of the economy are chugging along at normal rates: The hou...



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Insider Scoop

Benzinga's M&A Chatter for Wednesday July 27, 2016

Courtesy of Benzinga.

The following are the M&A deals, rumors and chatter circulating on Wall Street for Wednesday July 27, 2016:

Sequenom Being Acquired by Lab Corp for $2.40/Share in Cash

The Deal:
Laboratory Corporation of America Holdings (NYSE: LH) and Sequenom, Inc. (NASDAQ: SQNM) announced Wednesday, that they have entered into a definitive agreement aunder which LabCorp would acquire all of the outstanding shares of Sequenom in a cash tender offer for $2.40 per share, for an equity value of $302 million.

The closing of the acquisition i...



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Zero Hedge

The Law Of The Jungle Is Far Superior To The Ideology Of Globalism

Courtesy of ZeroHedge. View original post here.

Submitted by Brandon Smith via Alt-Market.com,

In 1991 George Bush Sr., in at least two separate speeches, announced an active geopolitical endgame for global stability; something he called the “New World Order.” This was not the first time the concept of the NWO had been uttered by a prominent figure. Fabian socialist H.G. Welles wrote an entire book on the ideology decades before, in 1940, entitled 'The New World Order', and even scripted a thinly veiled propaganda film on...



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Phil's Favorites

New Milestone: Trump and Hillary Converge at 58% Unfavorable Rating; Neocons for Hillary

Courtesy of Mish.

This election is quite likely to come down to which party is more motivated to vote for someone they do not like.

For the first time in Gallup polls, Trump’s Image on Par With Clinton’s, at an equally poor 58% unfavorable rating.

The numbers for both candidates, based on interviewing conducted July 18-25, are 37% favorable and 58% unfavorable. In all previous Gallup updates stretching back to last July, Clinton’s net favorable has been higher than Tru...



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Chart School

S&P 500 Snapshot: A Fractional Decline on Fed Wednesday

Courtesy of Doug Short's Advisor Perspectives.

Fed Wednesday turned out to be a ho-hum event for the US equity markets. The combination of parsing the FOMC statement, analyzing earnings and fretting about the growing glut kept our benchmark S&P 500 in a relative zombie state ... especially for a Fed Wednesday. The -0.12% closing loss extended the fractional up-down pattern of daily closes to ten sessions. And speaking of oil, WTIC fell 2.33% today and is now 18.65% below its interim high on June 8.

The yield on the 10-year closed at 1.55%, down five basis point from the previous session.

Here is a snapshot of past five sessions in the S&P 500.

Here is a daily chart of the index. We've highlighted the unusually narrow pattern over the past ten sessions, both in clo...



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Mapping The Market

Illusion of Choice

From Jean-Luc:

Looks like we are down to about 10 companies for our consumer goods:

http://www.visualcapitalist.com/illusion-of-choice-consumer-brands/

Just like banks, airlines and cable companies! 

The Illusion of Choice in Consumer Brands

Explore the full-size version of the above graphic in all its glory.

If today’s infographic looks familiar, that’s because it originates from a well-circulated report that Oxfam International puts together to show consolidation i...



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ValueWalk

Tesla Motors Inc And Mobileye NV Divorce - What Does It Mean For Investors

By Jacob Wolinsky. Originally published at ValueWalk.

It is a busy week for Elon Musk – Tesla Motors Inc (NASDAQ:TSLA) says it will need to raise more money for its new plans (shocker), the Gigafactory – by some metrics the largest manufacturer in the world is opening soon and Musk is making wild predictions about revenue on Model 3 sales (although little about earnings), and Tesla and Mobileye NV (NYSE:MBLY) parted ways yesterday in news which caused MBLY stock to tank before a bit of a recovery. With all the news it is hard to cover everything so below we will focus on the MBLY news and what it means for both companies. Many analysts note that Tesla is a small percentage of revenue for Mobileye so why focus on either? Because the news could be important and these co...



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Digital Currencies

Judge Rules Bitcoin Isn't Money Because It "Can't be Hidden Under A Mattress"

Courtesy of ZeroHedge. View original post here.

By Everett Numbers via TheAntiMedia.org

In a landmark decision, a Florida judge dismissed charges of money laundering against a Bitcoin seller on Monday following expert testimony showing state law did not apply to the cryptocurrency.

Michell Espinoza was charged with three felony charges related to money laundering i...



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Kimble Charting Solutions

Junk Bonds at important inflection point, should impact stocks!

Courtesy of Chris Kimble.

Junk bonds have been quality at sending Risk On and Risk Off message to the broad stock market. Below looks at Junk Bond ETF JNK over the past decade.

JNK finds itself at an important price point below and what it does in the upcoming couple of weeks could become a big influence on the Risk On/Risk Off trade.

CLICK ON CHART TO ENLARGE

...

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OpTrader

Swing trading portfolio - week of July 25th, 2016

Reminder: OpTrader is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

 

This post is for all our live virtual trade ideas and daily comments. Please click on "comments" below to follow our live discussion. All of our current  trades are listed in the spreadsheet below, with entry price (1/2 in and All in), and exit prices (1/3 out, 2/3 out, and All out).

We also indicate our stop, which is most of the time the "5 day moving average". All trades, unless indicated, are front-month ATM options. 

Please feel free to participate in the discussion and ask any questions you might have about this virtual portfolio, by clicking on the "comments" link right below.

To learn more about the swing trading virtual portfolio (strategy, performance, FAQ, etc.), please click here ...



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All About Trends

Mid-Day Update

Reminder: Harlan is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

Click here for the full report.




To learn more, sign up for David's free newsletter and receive the free report from All About Trends - "How To Outperform 90% Of Wall Street With Just $500 A Week." Tell David PSW sent you. - Ilene...

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Biotech

This Is Why Biotech Stocks May Explode Again

Reminder: Pharmboy and Ilene are available to chat with Members.

Here's an interesting article from Investor's Business Daily arguing that biotech stocks are beginning to recover from their recent declines, notwithstanding current weakness.

This Is Why Biotech Stocks May Explode Again

By 

Excerpt:

After a three-year bull run that more than quadrupled its value by its peak last July, IBD’s Medical-Biomed/Biotech Industry Group plunged 50% by early February, hurt by backlashes against high drug prices and mergers that seek to lower corporate taxes.

...



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Promotions

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We know you love coming here for our Stocks & Options education, strategy and trade ideas, and for Phil's daily commentary which you can't live without, but there's more!

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News: If you missed it, you can probably find it in our Market News section. We sift through piles of news so you don't have to.   

If you are looking for non-mainstream, provocatively-narrated news and opinion pieces which promise to make you think -- we feature Zero Hedge, ...



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Help One Of Our Own PSW Members

"Hello PSW Members –

This is a non-trading topic, but I wanted to post it during trading hours so as many eyes can see it as possible.  Feel free to contact me directly at jennifersurovy@yahoo.com with any questions.

Last fall there was some discussion on the PSW board regarding setting up a YouCaring donation page for a PSW member, Shadowfax. Since then, we have been looking into ways to help get him additional medical services and to pay down his medical debts.  After following those leads, we are ready to move ahead with the YouCaring site. (Link is posted below.)  Any help you can give will be greatly appreciated; not only to help aid in his medical bill debt, but to also show what a great community this group is.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-get-shadowfax-out-from-the-darkness-of-medical-bills-/126743

Thank you for you time!




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