THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION
by ilene - May 21st, 2010 4:37 pm
THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION
Courtesy of The Pragmatic Capitalist
A brilliant piece of financial analysis here (comedy). It would be hilarious if it wasn’t accurate (with the exception of the fact that China own the USA):
ONION Medley
by ilene - April 9th, 2010 9:30 am
Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles):
U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen
WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice.
U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.
"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."
"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."
Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."
"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…
Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:
Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time
TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …
Similarly unsurprising…
Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends
ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.
"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine
The America Burger…Enjoy, Slobs.
by ilene - November 8th, 2009 4:57 pm
The America Burger…Enjoy, Slobs.
Sure, I could write 3 or 4 paragraphs about the decline of dignity and the pervasive slovenliness of my countrymen, exactly when we need all of our faculties to be at their sharpest, but why bother when Natalie Dee so perfectly encapsulates this concept in her America Burger faux advertisement.
As American archetype Homer Simpson would unironically say, “It’s funny ’cause it’s true.”
In Recognition of Constitution Day, the Long-Lost Charter Is Printed on Milk Cartons Nationwide
by ilene - September 23rd, 2009 4:36 am
I missed Constitution Day, but as luck would have it, so did the Constitution. - Ilene
In Recognition of Constitution Day, the Long-Lost Charter Is Printed on Milk Cartons Nationwide
In recognition of “Constitution Day,” commemorating the signing of the U.S. Constitution on September 17, 1787, the long-lost document has been printed on milk cartons nationwide.
The public is urged to be on the lookout for a “short, concise statement of the principles of limited government.” Authorities said the document “is just a few pages long,” so it could be “just about anywhere.”… More here. >>
The financial crisis explained
by ilene - September 6th, 2009 6:50 pm
Lol on this one, but warning--mildly strong language towards the end.
The financial crisis explained
Courtesy of Edward Harrison at Credit Writedowns
More weekend market laughs for the financially-inclined. Hat tip Blicklog.


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Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...









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