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Friday, March 29, 2024

Studio Zero

Courtesy of Marla Singer

Many of you have asked us about the purpose of “Radio Zero.” All of us have avoided answering. What is true, is that there are some surprises in store for our readers down the line. Unfortunately, revealing them at this point would do definitional violence to the word “surprise.” We can, however, reveal to you that a fully-functioning sound studio and streaming audio server is a key component of our plans. To wit:

Studio Zero

Yes, half of it is still in boxes.  Scarred boxes.  Boxes shamed with the wet lipstick marks of condensation circles.  Traces left behind by many a sweating beer bottle (always imported… as proper attire forbids domestic labels of any kind or anything that looks properly placed when near any General Motors product).

And the other half?  While meeting the literal definition of “unpacked,” that inventory has become a mound of enmeshed packing paper, packing tape, packing peanuts, and bloodstained audio cords.

A pile of bubble-wrap in the far corner got my spirits up temporarily before further examination revealed its bubbles either made flaccid at the very factory of their birth, or maliciously popped by other than their rightful owners.  No pleasing cries of plastic-exploding help emanated, even when I stomped on them liberally with a well-heeled boot.  Reduced to a mere series of plastic sheets- useful now only for engineering the expedient expiration of the neighborhoods louder children- or that dog that never shuts up.

My patience has worn thin.

The only highlight of the day was the semi-surprise appearance of an old friend… let’s just call him “Lloyd.” Depending on your age bracket, you may well have seen “Lloyd” spinning Electronic Dance Music live and in person in Europe and/or the United States to massive (and possibly rabid) crowds.

After he realized that there was no beer in the refrigerator, it took some effort to talk “Lloyd” into staying behind a bit.  I think the image of me standing alone, in the middle of a furniture-less room, disheveled hair sprinkled with broken fragments of Styrofoam™, a trickle of blood running down my forearm after my close-encounter with the obsolete but far from useless Funktion One X01 Audio Management System, and a wild look in my eye.

To add insult to injury, not five minutes after his arrival “Lloyd” forcibly removed a foot-long amalgam of ripped cardboard and packing tape from my ass with a loud -schwipp– followed by a solid five minutes of his laughter.  Five… long… minutes….  Even now… I plot my revenge.

Meanwhile, I am extracting dues from him by putting the studio (that is “Studio Zero”) through her paces this morning. So, here we are. Perhaps we’ll try to throw together a quick remix on-the-fly for you. Maybe I’ll show this weak excuse for a DJ how we do it at Studio Zero. Or maybe we’ll tag-team. Maybe, if we get the phone hookup working, we’ll take reader calls.  (Or not).  Who knows?

Join us…

…and see.

http://cdo.zerohedge.com:8000/listen.pls

Stream is alive now.  We’ll go “Live live” at 8:20amish ET.

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