ONION Medley
by ilene - April 9th, 2010 9:30 am
Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles):
U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen
WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice.
U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.
"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."
"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."
Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."
"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…
Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:
Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time
TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …
Similarly unsurprising…
Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends
ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.
"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine
Market Insights From Hedge Fund D.E. Shaw & Co: Common Trading Mistakes
by ilene - September 22nd, 2009 12:21 pm
Market Insights From Hedge Fund D.E. Shaw & Co: Common Trading Mistakes
Courtesy of Market Folly
This is a first for Market Folly in that we’ve been able to track down some market insight from none other than hedge fund firm D.E. Shaw & Co. While the commentary is from July of this year, it is theoretical and applicational in nature so it’s still very relevant. Not to mention, it’s probably worth your time regardless, considering it is coming from a firm who has their hand in all different types of markets. After all, they are a hedge fund, a private equity firm, and technology development shop all rolled up into one.
This particular research report focuses on intuition versus reason. Additionally, it deals with analyzing trades and what they call the "time-portal" fallacy. It makes for interesting reading so definitely check it out as they delve into the topic of common trading mistakes and the consequences that follow. You can download the .pdf here. For more on DE Shaw, check out our recent portfolio coverage on them.



Twitter
LinkedIn
del.icio.us


Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...









Ilene is editor and affiliate program
coordinator for PSW. She manages the Favorites backup site
(