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Saturday, February 14, 2026

Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado Shooting’s Aftermath Will Play Out

In the aftermath of the horrific tragedy in Colorado,

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork/AP) – Many are still searching for answers following a devastating and deadly shooting at an Aurora, Colorado movie theater during a midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Officials held a press briefing Friday night to provide updates on what is being called the “Colorado Movie Massacre.”…

Pic via Drudge Report

Sad and true postscript from the ONION. Excerpt:

…According to the nation's citizenry, calls for a mature, thoughtful debate about the role of guns in American society started right on time, and should persist throughout the next week or so. However, the populace noted, the debate will soon spiral out of control and ultimately lead to nothing of any substance, a fact Americans everywhere acknowledged they felt "absolutely horrible" to be aware of.

With scalpel-like precision, the American populace then went on to predict, to the minute, how long it will take for the media to swarm Aurora, CO, how long it will take for them to leave, and exactly when questions will be raised as to whether or not violence in movies and video games had something to do with the act.

The nation's citizens also confirmed that, any time now, some religious figure or cable news personality will say something unbelievably insensitive about the tragic shooting.

Full article: Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado Shooting's Aftermath Will Play Out | The Onion – America's Finest News Source.

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