News Flash! Just kidding. Andy is having wishful thinking. Further on, he reports that the republicans are considering broadening their appeal to women, after they review the math to make sure we really represent about 51% of the population. They should probably also run the stats on minorities. It might make sense to appeal to some of them too. ~ Ilene
REPUBLICANS CONSIDER WELCOMING PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN MATH AND SCIENCE
By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Opting for a bold “big tent” strategy to rebuild the party, Reince Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, told reporters today, “We need to welcome people who believe in different things than we do, like math and science.”
After disappointing results in Tuesday’s election, Mr. Priebus said that it was time for Republicans to become “more tolerant of those with a math-and-science lifestyle.”
“Just because we don’t believe in those things doesn’t mean we can’t get along with people who do,” he said. “We want to send this message: math and science Americans are Americans, too.”
Photograph by Landon Nordeman.
See also: Obamas Return to White House as Romneys Return to 1954
