The Onion is making fun of the ridiculous reporting that goes on about our financial markets. It focuses on individual stocks, but the point carries over to the whole market.
Here's a pretend example: Let's say unemployment claims come in lower than expected. If the market goes up, the headline might read "Unemployment claims down, market rallies."
Same news, but market down: "Unemployment claims lower, market sells off as traders fear its the end for QE-Infinity."
Or how about, "Market down due to fears that Greece will default"?
Really? The market has been trading up for months ignoring fears of Greek default. Then, all of a sudden, at the same time, traders decided it's time to pull money because they're worried about Greece? Perhaps the Algorithms that dictate about 70% of trading might be programmed to sell based on a news item about Greece, but that's not the same as "traders" and "investors."
The Onion’s Stock Watch
Courtesy of Joshua Brown, The Reformed Broker
How inane is the daily "news" and commentary surrounding the activity of individual stocks these days? There are way too many headlines that are simply written for the sake of getting a click. And this is getting worse, not better.
The Onion picked up on this phenomenon:
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