The Borowitz Report
by ilene - June 7th, 2010 7:21 pm
Here are headlines/links to Andy Borowitz’s recent satirical articles finding humor in current events. Funny, though potentially offensive. (So don’t blame me for not warning you – Palin fans, Tiger Woods fans, BP execs.) - Ilene
The Borowitz Report
BP Says It Has Successfully Controlled Flow of Information on Spill
Tiger: At Least I Didn’t F%*k The Entire Gulf Of Mexico
Golf Legend Seizes PR Opportunity
Bin Laden Says He’s ‘Professionally Envious’ Of BP
‘I’ve Got To Step Up My Game,’ Says Madman
Experts Propose Plugging Oil Leak With BP Executives
Submerging Execs Could Be ‘Win-Win
Poll: Rand Paul Surges Ahead Of Palin Among Voters Who Describe Themselves As Morons
Key Constituency For Two Hopefuls
China To Stop Spying On Its People; Will Use Facebook Instead
Social Network To Replace Listening Devices, Spy Satellites
Greece Offers To Repay Loans With Giant Horse
Steed Wheeled Into Brussels At Night
Who Will Profit from the Oil Spill
by ilene - June 3rd, 2010 5:03 pm
Who Will Profit from the Oil Spill
By Charles S. Brant, Energy Correspondent, courtesy of Casey’s Energy Opportunities
The disaster in the Gulf of Mexico may be the best thing that’s ever happened to green energy producers in the U.S – but the one that benefits the most will probably surprise you.
As the damaged Deepwater Horizon well continues to pump out 5,000 barrels of oil per day into the Gulf, all the major stakeholders are scrambling to find a way to contain the damage. Investors in BP, Anadarko, Transocean, and Halliburton have had a rough few weeks and should be nervous about the future. The growing political firestorm that’s accompanied this ecological disaster is drastically reshaping the energy landscape in the U.S. There’s huge money to be made from the biggest structural change to the energy markets in the past 50 years, if you know where to look.
The political and economic fallout from this accident is starting to take shape, with the executives from BP, Transocean, and Halliburton being paraded in front of Congress for a public chastising. Predictably, politicians are making stern promises of tighter regulations in the future.
At this point, it’s a guessing game as to what the new permanent regulations will be. So far, a temporary moratorium has been put in place on the issuance of new offshore oil and gas drilling permits. In addition, the Department of the Interior plans to restructure the federal Minerals Management Service (MMS) to eliminate the conflict of interest inherent in its role of monitoring safety, managing offshore leasing, and collecting royalty income.
The Department of the Interior has plans to make offshore drilling rig inspections much stricter. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar has also promised tighter environmental…