Posts Tagged ‘Satire’

The Cramer-Roubini X-treme Index

The Cramer-Roubini X-treme Index

Courtesy of Damien Hoffman at Wall St. Cheat Sheet

Cramer Tiesto Med

Case and Shiller have one. Dow and Jones have one. Black and Scholes have something similar…

Wall St. Cheat Sheet is proud to introduce our first proprietary index: The Cramer-Roubini X-treme Index. After toiling with quantum proofs and a stack of “For Dummies” books for years in the basement of Duke University’s Lilly Library, we have finally produced the perfect blend of Doom and Boom suffused with a subtle hint of X-Games adrenaline.

Unlike the VIX or other sentiment indexes which somehow fell into the shit pit during the Great Markets (Housing, Stocks, Credit, Oil, etc.) Crashes of 2008, The Cramer-Roubini X-treme Index held up like a Viagra induced E! party on The Girls Next Door. That’s right. While those old bags Dow and Jones couldn’t tell you what the hell was happening, our needle jolted from Cramer to Roubini faster than food passes through an American tourist who just ate a spoiled egg in Thailand.

By now you’re probably scratching your head trying to reverse engineer our black box indicator (which, by the way, is available to institutional and accredited investors for annual licensing at the bargain price of the US National Debt divided by 100). Don’t give yourself the mathematician’s cold sweats or the Bible Code mystic’s shiver. If you’re not an institutional investor or don’t qualify as an accredited investor, please read on (if you are one of the aforementioned investors, please pay now)…

Roubini Manson Med

The secret to our indicator is its lack of cutting-edge technology. We employ a Luddite style system where a handful of college interns sit in front of 52″ flat screens 24 hours a day, 7 days a week watching CNBC, Bloomberg, and FOX Business. Each time an unpaid viewer sees either Cramer or Roubini, he or she registers the viewing by clicking a baseball umpire’s out counter. We know it only goes to three, but we’ve hired some cum laude quality interns to do the higher math on paper from our recycling bin.

At the end of each session, we tally the Cramer and Roubini sightings on a huge chalkboard. Whoever has the most appearances on the three networks plus comments as “experts” in major print media outlets (which are monitored overseas, but that’s a story for another article),…
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Zero Hedge

Trade-Deal Rumorgasm Sparks Stock Meltup To Record Highs, Bond Bloodbath

Courtesy of ZeroHedge View original post here.

It's a deal... again...

Oct 11: NEWS "Trump says the US has come to a substantial phase one deal with China"

Dec 12: RUMOR *TRUMP: GETTING VERY CLOSE TO A BIG DEAL WITH CHINA

Dec 12: RUMOR *U.S. NEGOTIATORS OFFER TO CANCEL NEW DEC. 15 CHINA TARIFFS: DJ

Dec 12: NEWS/RUMOR "Trump says he and China reached a 'phase one' trade deal in principle"

And that was good enough for new record highs for stocks...



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Phil's Favorites

The PhilStockWorld.com Weekly Trading Webinar - 12-11-19

For LIVE access on Wednesday afternoons, join us at Phil's Stock World – click here.

Major Topics:

00:02:48 Checking on the Markets
00:03:58 Checking on the Portfolios
00:13:12 5 Trade Ideas to Make $25,000 in 5 months
00:21:02 Top Trades
00:22:50 Tanger Factory
00:37:49 3 New Trades
00:38:38 "Future is Now Portfolio"
00:58:22 FOMC Meeting
01:05:03 CSCO
01:09:24 FTR
01:17:20 LB
01:19:14 CSCO Trade Ideas
01:25:28 FOMC Statement
01:30:59 Summary
01:39:00 AMZN

...



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Insider Scoop

The Daily Biotech Pulse: European Nod For Amgen, miRagen Overhauls Clinical Pipeline, Tonix Snags Patent Win

Courtesy of Benzinga

Here's a roundup of top developments in the biotech space over the last 24 hours.

Scaling The Peaks

(Biotech stocks hitting 52-week highs on Dec. 11)

  • Acceleron Pharma Inc (NASDAQ: XLRN)
  • Aimmune Therapeutics Inc (NASDAQ: AIMT)
  • Aprea The...


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Digital Currencies

Three Men Arrested In NJ For Running Alleged $722 Million Crypto Ponzi Scheme

Courtesy of ZeroHedge View original post here.

Authored by Kollen Post via CoinTelegraph.com,

United States authorities in New Jersey have announced the arrest of three men who are accused of defrauding investors of over $722 million as part of alleged crypto ponzie scheme BitClub Network, per a Dec. 10 announcement from the Dep...



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Kimble Charting Solutions

Is Freeport McMoRan (FCX) Making A Run For the "Gold"?

Courtesy of Chris Kimble

Mining company Freeport McMoRan NYSE: FCX is enjoying the tailwind from a strong year for gold and silver prices. And although Copper prices are down, Copper has been turning up lately.

This has helped Freeport’s stock price recover in 2019 and has FCX testing a key breakout level.

Below is a “weekly” chart of Freeport McMoRan (FCX). The shaded channel outlined by each (1) highlights the longer-term downtrend that FCX has been stuck in.

But this could change on a dime, especially if FCX can breakout above (2). This area represents its re...



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Lee's Free Thinking

Chart Shows the Fed Ramping Up Not QE - Funding Almost All Treasury Issuance

 

Chart Shows the Fed Ramping Up Not QE – Funding Almost All Treasury Issuance

Courtesy of Lee Adler, Wall Street Examiner 

The Fed is ramping up “Not QE” .

The Fed bought $2.2 billion in notes today in its POMO, “not QE,” operations. Actually $2.15 billion because they sold back a whole $50 million. Must have been a little glitch in the force.

This brings the Fed’s total outright purchases of Treasuries to $170 billion since it started Not QE, on September 17.

It also did $107 billion in gross new repo loans to Primary Dealers to buy Tre...



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Chart School

Silver stock taking the sector higher

Courtesy of Read the Ticker

As the US economy begins to show late cycle characteristics like: GDP slowing, higher inflation, higher wage costs, CEO confidence slump. 
Previous Post: Gold Stocks Review

The big players in the market are looking for the next swing off good value lows. This means more money is finding it way into the gold and silver sector, and it is said gold and silver stocks actually lead the metal prices. The cycle below shows prices are ready to move in the months ahead (older chart re posted).




 

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Members' Corner

Sacha Baron Cohen Uses ADL Speech to Tear Apart Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook

 

Sacha Baron Cohen Uses ADL Speech to Tear Apart Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook

By Matt Wilstein

Excerpt:

Sacha Baron Cohen accepted the International Leadership Award at the Anti-Defamation League’s Never is Now summit on anti-Semitism and hate Thursday. And the comedian and actor used his keynote speech to single out the one Jewish-American who he believes is doing the most to facilitate “hate and violence” in America: Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

He began with a joke at the Trump administration’s expense. “Thank you, ADL, for this recognition and your work in fighting racism, hate and bigotry,” Baron Cohen said, according to his prepared...



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The Technical Traders

VIX Warns Of Imminent Market Correction

Courtesy of Technical Traders

The VIX is warning that a market peak may be setting up in the global markets and that investors should be cautious of the extremely low price in the VIX. These extremely low prices in the VIX are typically followed by some type of increased volatility in the markets.

The US Federal Reserve continues to push an easy money policy and has recently begun acquiring more dept allowing a deeper move towards a Quantitative Easing stance. This move, along with investor confidence in the US markets, has prompted early warning signs that the market has reached near extreme levels/peaks. 

Vix Value Drops Before Monthly Expiration

When the VIX falls to levels below 12~13, this typically v...



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Biotech

Why telling people with diabetes to use Walmart insulin can be dangerous advice

Reminder: We are available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

 

Why telling people with diabetes to use Walmart insulin can be dangerous advice

A vial of insulin. Prices for the drug, crucial for those with diabetes, have soared in recent years. Oleksandr Nagaiets/Shutterstock.com

Courtesy of Jeffrey Bennett, Vanderbilt University

About 7.4 million people ...



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Mapping The Market

How IPOs Are Priced

Via Jean Luc 

Funny but probably true:

...

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Promotions

Free eBook - "My Top Strategies for 2017"

 

 

Here's a free ebook for you to check out! 

Phil has a chapter in a newly-released eBook that we think you’ll enjoy.

In My Top Strategies for 2017, Phil's chapter is Secret Santa’s Inflation Hedges for 2017.

This chapter isn’t about risk or leverage. Phil present a few smart, practical ideas you can use as a hedge against inflation as well as hedging strategies designed to assist you in staying ahead of the markets.

Some other great content in this free eBook includes:

 

·       How 2017 Will Affect Oil, the US Dollar and the European Union

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About Phil:

Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...

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