Posts Tagged ‘Tiger Woods’

ONION Medley

Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles): 

U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen

Operation Enduring Freedom

WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice. 

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.

"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."

"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."

Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."

"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…

Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:

Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time

TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …

Similarly unsurprising…

Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.

"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine


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Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock 

The lawyer for the porn star who just ruined Tiger Woods’ life again by publishing seriously raunchy text messages is none other than Gloria Allred.

Who is Gloria Allred?  Well, let’s just say she’s no shrinking violet. 

She’s also the lawyer of other alleged Tiger mistresses, including Rachel Uchitel.

Allred was not happy with Tiger’s public apology a few weeks ago.  In fact, she blasted it as pathetic. 

Allred has also been negotiating with Tiger’s attorneys for a settlement on behalf of her clients.

It seems reasonable to assume, therefore, that Allred could have orchestrated the release of today’s sext messages, with the message to Tiger’s attorneys being:

"How’d you like those, fellas?  Lots more where those came from."

Was Allred behind this?  Or did her client Joslyn James just take matters into her own hands?  We contacted Allred and asked her to confirm whether the texts were from Tiger, whether James and Tiger are involved in any legal dispute and which of Tiger’s lady friends Allred is representing. She responded, via email, with a simple, "No comment."

Meanwhile, another question follows from this.  Is this why Tiger hired George Bush’s press man, Ari Fleischer?  Ari’s going to be busy today. 

See Also:  Here’s The Woman Who Just Ruined Tiger Woods’ Life (Again)


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“How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish”

"How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish"

Courtesy of JESSE’S CAFÉ AMÉRICAIN

Were Lloyd and Jamie and the pigmen of Wall Street and Washington taking notes during Tiger Woods’ apology?

Doubtful.

No one is perfect, of course. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins. We are all weak, and insufficient in ourselves. And yet we attempt great things, in fear and trembling. The spirit endures and abides.

But there are moments in history that are epidemic with excess, a pathological pursuit of lust, greed, and deceit with a nihilistic determination that is more like a fashion of the age than an aberration. Chic to be above conventional morality and the law, lacking all proportion. Accepted, and even admired.

Tiger’s words could be the new American Anthem for a generation of reckless, selfish, and self-destructive behaviour by those most blessed by its freedom, offered the greatest opportunities and privileges, sometimes undeserved, and most often paid for by the sacrifice of others.

Most of them still have no regrets, except of course for the fear of discovery. They will have to somehow grow a conscience for that. Or face the withdrawal of support by their sponsors. In the case of Tiger it was Nike. In the case of the Banks it is the US government. And in the case of the US government it is a gullible and complacent public.  

"Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me, have worked with me, always supported me. Now, every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you simply and directly I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behaviour I engaged in. I know people want to find out how i could be so selfish and foolish.

I knew my actions were wrong but I convinced myself that the normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I only thought about myself…

I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt that I was entitled. 

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

I recognize I have brought this on myself


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Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Good for Tiger, and maybe even Buddhism.  Sometimes it takes a life-changing disaster to find a healthier course. We hope Buddhism will help Tiger achieve the hole in one he’s looking for so he can keep his putter in his bag. – Ilene 

Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Courtesy Jay Yarow at Clusterstock/Business Insider

tiger woods conf 4

Tiger Woods just announced plans to focus more on Buddhism to help him get his life together.

This will no doubt disappoint Brit Hume, who infamously suggested Tiger use Christianity to get over his sex addiction.

Tiger says he’s heading back to rehab, and he’ll use the religion to find his center.

See also: 

Tiger Apologizes, Has No Immediate Comeback Plans

Courtesy of Joe Weisenthal at Clusterstock/Business Insider  

 

Below is our just-concluded liveblog of the Tiger Woods apology.

The key points:

  • He’s sorry.


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Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Yep, no surprises here.  – Ilene

Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Tiger On BedCourtesy of John Carney at Clusterstock/Business Insider

Tiger Woods is reportedly planning to go into rehab in Arizona for treatment for ‘sexual compulsion’ and his use of Vicodin painkillers and Ambien sleeping pills.

This, of course, is the way everyone knew this scandal would end.

The news was reported by the British tabloid The Daily Mail.

 


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Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Courtesy of Tim Iacono at The Mess That Greenspan Made

It’s been a while since a Jim Rogers quote graced the pages of this blog – it seems it was well worth the wait after looking at the gems offered up in this interview with CNBC today.

Gov’t Spending Is Like Tiger’s Dating: Jim Rogers

The U.S. government’s plan to increase spending as a way to kick-start the economy will leave the country with no way to help its way out of the next crisis, Jim Rogers, chairman of Jim Rogers Holdings, told CNBC Thursday.

The Treasury Department "has been putting out all of this stimulus and now they’re talking about extending the (Troubled Asset Relief Program)," Rogers said.

Geithner "is a very smart person," but "he’s been wrong about everything for the last 15 years," Rogers said.

"Why are we listening to any of those guys down there? They’re making our situation worse," he said. "They said in writing yesterday the solution to our problem is to spend more money … that’s what got us into this problem: too much debt."

"That’s like saying to Tiger Woods, ‘you get another girlfriend and it will solve your problems’ or ‘five more girlfriends and you will solve your problems,’" he said.

Rogers sees a currency crisis of some sort occurring somewhere around the world sometime in the not-too-distant future and asks how the U.S. government intends to solve future financial and economic crises if they borrow and print so much money to solve the current one, "What are they going to do, quadruple the debt again? Print more money?"

This was one of the best rhetorical questions I’ve heard all year…

 


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Tiger-gate

Courtesy of The Business Insider

IT BEGINS: Gatorade Discontinues Tiger Line

By Joe Weisenthal

tiger woods gatoradeJust in from CNBC: Gatorade says it is discontinuing its "Gatorade Tiger Focus" product line.

"It has nothing to do with recent events," the company says, laughably.

Of course, they’re still sponsoring him, so it’s not a total cut-off.

But this is just the beginning of the damage about to be inflicted on Woods’s very fat pocketbook.

Tiger Woods is now associated with pornstars, domestic disputes, and the hospitalization of his mother-in-law. In other words, he’s toxic.

See Also:

Will "Morals" Clauses Impact Tiger’s Endorsements?

By Erin Geiger Smith, courtesy of The Business Insider

Nike supports Tiger and his family. Our relationship remains unchanged."

Such was Nike’s statement last Wednesday, when we were just a few days (and a few mistresses) into the Tiger Woods scandal.

Nearly a week (and numerous mistresses) later, news came from CNBC that one of Woods’s sponsors, Gatorade, is discontinuing one of its products connected to golf’s biggest star.

Gatorade said the decision had "absolutely nothing to do with recent events," and there is evidence it actually was not scandal-related ("[I]ndustry trade Beverage Digest actually reported the discontinuation of the Gatorade Tiger Focus line on Nov. 25, two days before the accident occurred, CNBC reported).

But as the scandal continues to unfold and additional allegations pour out, no doubt Woods’s sponsors are holding closed door meeting to decide how to move forward.

Woods’s endorsement deals are a massive part of his income.  He is projected to surpass $1 billion in career earnings by 2010, 90% of which will have come from endorsements.

One phrase that is being tossed around is "morals clause." While Woods’s alleged behavior may be morally objectionable to many, that has nothing to do with how "moral" may be legally defined in his various contracts.

Fernando Pinguelo, who has written about morals clauses, said that, like all contract negotiations, the "leverage the ‘talent’ has in a particular deal," as well as the capabilities of his agent, will direct what the clause says. Woods, of course, had maximum bargaining power and top tier representatives.

tiger woodsThough he has not seen any of Woods’s contracts, he speculated that any morals clause would be quite…
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The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

Tiger Woods and wife (for now)

Season’s Beatings!

Okay, I know, I don’t normally post pictues that come in my email…

Question is, will Elin kiss and make up with someone who’s missing teeth?

 


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No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Wondering what’s been going on with Tiger?

No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock

tigerwoods2 tbiAnother day of silence has left Tiger and Elin Woods with only one option about how to deal with the car crash: Tell the world exactly what happened, and soon.

Of all the stories and speculation that are swirling around, this one from TMZ seems to fit the facts the best.  It’s based on a conversation Tiger reportedly had with a friend yesterday.

We’re told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We’re told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat

for his SUV — but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club…

Tiger then became distracted and hit the hydrant and then a nearby tree.

We’re also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

Startling stuff?

Yes.

But also survivable.

If Tiger was, in fact, scratched and knocked unconscious by his furious wife, Tiger will have paid for whatever mistake he made in a way that most public figures who make that mistake don’t.  This will earn him some sympathy.  Remaining silent for a day to protect Elin will earn him even more.

Elin, meanwhille, appears to have stood up for herself, which will win her some points, too (although not for the manner in which she did it).  People have little respect for the typical stand-by-your-man approach to these things, and the facts suggest Elin may have taken a different route.

What won’t work is a vague reiteration of what Tiger’s camp said on Friday: That Tiger just had a minor car accident. 

The police will get to the bottom of what happened, and unless TMZ is just fabricating sources (we doubt it), Tiger appears to have offered at least one person a more complete and believable version of events. 


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Zero Hedge

Who's Really Behind The Soft-Coup? Obama-Founded Activist Group Offers Anti-Trump Protest "Guide"

Courtesy of ZeroHedge. View original post here.

"The left is intentionally fighting to remain relevant," remarks Armstrong Economics' Martin Armstrong, adding that "the hatred spewing out of their mouths is really off the wall." Furthermore, Armstrong warns the Obama administration is behind the so-called 'soft coup' ...



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Phil's Favorites

Rand Paul Blasts McCain Over Perpetual War: "He Would Bankrupt the Nation"

Courtesy of Mish.

Senator Rand Paul blasted fellow Republican Senator John McCain over McCain’s perpetual warmongering on ABC’s “This Week”.

Some are undoubtedly disheartened by political infighting, but this infighting is good.

These are debates the country desperately needs to have.

Earlier today Rand paul stated “We’re very lucky John McCain is not in charge.”

Sen. Rand Paul (Ky.) ripped fellow Republican Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) on Sunday after McCain criticized President T...



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ValueWalk

Warren Buffett - How to Calculate Intrinsic Value

By The Acquirer's Multiple. Originally published at ValueWalk.

One of our favorite investors here at The Acquirer’s Multiple is Warren Buffett.

Lat week I provided and excerpt from Buffett’s ‘Owner’s Manual’ – In June 1996, Berkshire’s Chairman, Warren E. Buffett, issued a booklet entitled “An Owner’s Manual” to Berkshire’s Class A and Class B shareholders. The purpose of the manual was to explain Berkshire’s broad economic principles of operation.

]]> Get The Full Warren Buffett Series in PDF

Get the entire 10-part series on Warren Buffett in PDF. Save it to your ...



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Market News

News You Can Use From Phil's Stock World

 

Financial Markets and Economy

Managers at a $1 trillion asset manager say investors are dangerously underplaying 3 things (Business Insider)

2016 was not a great year for forecasting. 

The UK's decision to leave the European Union, and President Donald Trump's win despite what the polls showed, humbled many people who were sure that the opposite outcomes would happen.

China Suspends All Coal Imports From North Korea (NY Times)

...



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Digital Currencies

How to Use, Trade, Store and Invest in Bitcoin Digital Assets - Step by Step, Part 1

By Reggie Middleton

(Originally published on Zero Hedge)

I will teach novices and experts alike how to fit Bitcoin into an investment portfolio safely and with the optimum risk-adjusted potential - along with step-by-step guides, instructions and tutorials.

This first part of the series starts with the basics, obtaining and managing your bitcoin.

What is Bitcoin?

First off, we need to know what Bitcoin is since most media pundits and even experienced financial types truly do not know. Bitcoin (capital "B") is a protocol driven network (very similar to that other popular protocol-based network, the Internet). This network is a blank tapestry upon which smart and creative actors can paint a cornucopia of applications (just like applicat...



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Kimble Charting Solutions

Fear Indicator; Hitting highest levels in history, says Joe Friday

Courtesy of Chris Kimble.

Markets have been on a steady rise and the same can be said for Inverse Fear ETF (XIV). Below looks at Inverse Fear ETF (XIV) since the lows in 2011.

CLICK ON CHART TO ENLARGE

What a difference a year can make! One year ago this week, XIV was testing rising channel support, as relative momentum was hitting levels last seen at the 2011 lows.

...



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Members' Corner

Save Your Relationship?

Courtesy of Nattering Naybob.

Once again it's "in the Toilet Thursday" or "Thursday's in the Loo".

Our last episode How to Poop At Work? answered the question, what to do when your at a big fancy pants meeting, when out of nowhere, you need to download a brown load?

This week's installment, Save Your Relationship, demonstrates that people will do just about anything to save their relationshits...

...

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Mapping The Market

NSA May Be Withholding Intel from President Trump

By Jean Luc

These GOP guys were so worried about Hillary's email server and now we find out that we had something close to a Russian mole in the White House. In the meantime, Trump keeps on using his unsecured phone, had high level conversation in his resort in front of dinner guests! It's getting so bad that rumors are now circulating that the NSA is not sharing information with the WH:

NSA May Be Withholding Intel from President Trump

By 

….Our spies have had enough of these shady Russian connections—and they are starting to push back….In light of this, and out of worries about the White House’s ability to keep secrets, some of our spy agencies have begun withholding intelligence fro...



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OpTrader

Swing trading portfolio - week of February 13th, 2017

Reminder: OpTrader is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

 

This post is for all our live virtual trade ideas and daily comments. Please click on "comments" below to follow our live discussion. All of our current  trades are listed in the spreadsheet below, with entry price (1/2 in and All in), and exit prices (1/3 out, 2/3 out, and All out).

We also indicate our stop, which is most of the time the "5 day moving average". All trades, unless indicated, are front-month ATM options. 

Please feel free to participate in the discussion and ask any questions you might have about this virtual portfolio, by clicking on the "comments" link right below.

To learn more about the swing trading virtual portfolio (strategy, performance, FAQ, etc.), please click here ...



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Chart School

Weekly Market Recap Feb 12, 2017

Courtesy of Blain.

The week that was…

The quite long in the tooth rally continues as we had 3 days of minor loses to begin the week; ending with 2 days of moderate gains.  We are in a bit of a quiet zone as most S&P 500 companies have now reported earnings, the Federal Reserve is not a “worry” for about a month and a half, and the major economic news of the month hit the prior week.  So the gnashing of teeth (or not) about government policy seems to be the main driver right now- late in the week it was announced some major new tax initiatives would be coming down the pike soon which the market liked.

President Donald Trump said Thursday that an announcement concerning taxes is on tap for the coming weeks, which his press secretary later said would involve an outline of a comprehensive tax plan. “...



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Promotions

Phil's Stock World's Las Vegas Conference!

Learn option strategies and how to be the house and not the gambler. That's especially apropos since we'll be in Vegas....

Join us for the Phil's Stock World's Conference in Las Vegas!

Date:  Sunday, Feb 12, 2017 and Monday Feb 13, 2017            

Beginning Time:  9:30 to 10:00 am Sunday morning

Location: Caesars Palace in Las Vegas

Notes

Caesars has offered us rooms for $189 on Saturday night and $129 for Sunday night but rooms are limited at that price.

So, if you are planning on being in Vegas (Highly Recommended!), please sign up as soon as possible by sending...



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Biotech

The Medicines Company: Insider Buying

Reminder: Pharmboy and Ilene are available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

I'm seeing huge insider buying in the biotech company The Medicines Company (MDCO). The price has already moved up around 7%, but these buys are significant, in the millions of dollars range. ~ Ilene

 

 

 

Insider transaction table and buying vs. selling graphic above from insidercow.com.

Chart below from Yahoo.com

...

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All About Trends

Mid-Day Update

Reminder: Harlan is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

Click here for the full report.




To learn more, sign up for David's free newsletter and receive the free report from All About Trends - "How To Outperform 90% Of Wall Street With Just $500 A Week." Tell David PSW sent you. - Ilene...

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FeedTheBull - Top Stock market and Finance Sites



About Phil:

Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...

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About Ilene:

Ilene is editor and affiliate program coordinator for PSW. She manages the site market shadows, archives, more. Contact Ilene to learn about our affiliate and content sharing programs.

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