Guest View
User: Pass: | become a member
Posts Tagged ‘Tiger Woods’

ONION Medley

Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles): 

U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen

Operation Enduring Freedom

WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice. 

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.

"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."

"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."

Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."

"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…

Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:

Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time

TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …

Similarly unsurprising…

Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.

"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine


continue reading


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock 

The lawyer for the porn star who just ruined Tiger Woods’ life again by publishing seriously raunchy text messages is none other than Gloria Allred.

Who is Gloria Allred?  Well, let’s just say she’s no shrinking violet. 

She’s also the lawyer of other alleged Tiger mistresses, including Rachel Uchitel.

Allred was not happy with Tiger’s public apology a few weeks ago.  In fact, she blasted it as pathetic. 

Allred has also been negotiating with Tiger’s attorneys for a settlement on behalf of her clients.

It seems reasonable to assume, therefore, that Allred could have orchestrated the release of today’s sext messages, with the message to Tiger’s attorneys being:

"How’d you like those, fellas?  Lots more where those came from."

Was Allred behind this?  Or did her client Joslyn James just take matters into her own hands?  We contacted Allred and asked her to confirm whether the texts were from Tiger, whether James and Tiger are involved in any legal dispute and which of Tiger’s lady friends Allred is representing. She responded, via email, with a simple, "No comment."

Meanwhile, another question follows from this.  Is this why Tiger hired George Bush’s press man, Ari Fleischer?  Ari’s going to be busy today. 

See Also:  Here’s The Woman Who Just Ruined Tiger Woods’ Life (Again)


Tags: , , , , , ,




“How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish”

"How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish"

Courtesy of JESSE’S CAFÉ AMÉRICAIN

Were Lloyd and Jamie and the pigmen of Wall Street and Washington taking notes during Tiger Woods’ apology?

Doubtful.

No one is perfect, of course. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins. We are all weak, and insufficient in ourselves. And yet we attempt great things, in fear and trembling. The spirit endures and abides.

But there are moments in history that are epidemic with excess, a pathological pursuit of lust, greed, and deceit with a nihilistic determination that is more like a fashion of the age than an aberration. Chic to be above conventional morality and the law, lacking all proportion. Accepted, and even admired.

Tiger’s words could be the new American Anthem for a generation of reckless, selfish, and self-destructive behaviour by those most blessed by its freedom, offered the greatest opportunities and privileges, sometimes undeserved, and most often paid for by the sacrifice of others.

Most of them still have no regrets, except of course for the fear of discovery. They will have to somehow grow a conscience for that. Or face the withdrawal of support by their sponsors. In the case of Tiger it was Nike. In the case of the Banks it is the US government. And in the case of the US government it is a gullible and complacent public.  

"Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me, have worked with me, always supported me. Now, every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you simply and directly I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behaviour I engaged in. I know people want to find out how i could be so selfish and foolish.

I knew my actions were wrong but I convinced myself that the normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I only thought about myself…

I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt that I was entitled. 

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

I recognize I have brought this on myself


continue reading


Tags: , , , ,




Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Good for Tiger, and maybe even Buddhism.  Sometimes it takes a life-changing disaster to find a healthier course. We hope Buddhism will help Tiger achieve the hole in one he’s looking for so he can keep his putter in his bag. – Ilene 

Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Courtesy Jay Yarow at Clusterstock/Business Insider

tiger woods conf 4

Tiger Woods just announced plans to focus more on Buddhism to help him get his life together.

This will no doubt disappoint Brit Hume, who infamously suggested Tiger use Christianity to get over his sex addiction.

Tiger says he’s heading back to rehab, and he’ll use the religion to find his center.

See also: 

Tiger Apologizes, Has No Immediate Comeback Plans

Courtesy of Joe Weisenthal at Clusterstock/Business Insider  

 

Below is our just-concluded liveblog of the Tiger Woods apology.

The key points:

  • He’s sorry.


continue reading


Tags: , , , , , ,




Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Yep, no surprises here.  – Ilene

Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Tiger On BedCourtesy of John Carney at Clusterstock/Business Insider

Tiger Woods is reportedly planning to go into rehab in Arizona for treatment for ‘sexual compulsion’ and his use of Vicodin painkillers and Ambien sleeping pills.

This, of course, is the way everyone knew this scandal would end.

The news was reported by the British tabloid The Daily Mail.

 


Tags: , , , ,




Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Courtesy of Tim Iacono at The Mess That Greenspan Made

It’s been a while since a Jim Rogers quote graced the pages of this blog – it seems it was well worth the wait after looking at the gems offered up in this interview with CNBC today.

Gov’t Spending Is Like Tiger’s Dating: Jim Rogers

The U.S. government’s plan to increase spending as a way to kick-start the economy will leave the country with no way to help its way out of the next crisis, Jim Rogers, chairman of Jim Rogers Holdings, told CNBC Thursday.

The Treasury Department "has been putting out all of this stimulus and now they’re talking about extending the (Troubled Asset Relief Program)," Rogers said.

Geithner "is a very smart person," but "he’s been wrong about everything for the last 15 years," Rogers said.

"Why are we listening to any of those guys down there? They’re making our situation worse," he said. "They said in writing yesterday the solution to our problem is to spend more money … that’s what got us into this problem: too much debt."

"That’s like saying to Tiger Woods, ‘you get another girlfriend and it will solve your problems’ or ‘five more girlfriends and you will solve your problems,’" he said.

Rogers sees a currency crisis of some sort occurring somewhere around the world sometime in the not-too-distant future and asks how the U.S. government intends to solve future financial and economic crises if they borrow and print so much money to solve the current one, "What are they going to do, quadruple the debt again? Print more money?"

This was one of the best rhetorical questions I’ve heard all year…

 


Tags: , , ,




Tiger-gate

Courtesy of The Business Insider

IT BEGINS: Gatorade Discontinues Tiger Line

By Joe Weisenthal

tiger woods gatoradeJust in from CNBC: Gatorade says it is discontinuing its "Gatorade Tiger Focus" product line.

"It has nothing to do with recent events," the company says, laughably.

Of course, they’re still sponsoring him, so it’s not a total cut-off.

But this is just the beginning of the damage about to be inflicted on Woods’s very fat pocketbook.

Tiger Woods is now associated with pornstars, domestic disputes, and the hospitalization of his mother-in-law. In other words, he’s toxic.

See Also:

Will "Morals" Clauses Impact Tiger’s Endorsements?

By Erin Geiger Smith, courtesy of The Business Insider

Nike supports Tiger and his family. Our relationship remains unchanged."

Such was Nike’s statement last Wednesday, when we were just a few days (and a few mistresses) into the Tiger Woods scandal.

Nearly a week (and numerous mistresses) later, news came from CNBC that one of Woods’s sponsors, Gatorade, is discontinuing one of its products connected to golf’s biggest star.

Gatorade said the decision had "absolutely nothing to do with recent events," and there is evidence it actually was not scandal-related ("[I]ndustry trade Beverage Digest actually reported the discontinuation of the Gatorade Tiger Focus line on Nov. 25, two days before the accident occurred, CNBC reported).

But as the scandal continues to unfold and additional allegations pour out, no doubt Woods’s sponsors are holding closed door meeting to decide how to move forward.

Woods’s endorsement deals are a massive part of his income.  He is projected to surpass $1 billion in career earnings by 2010, 90% of which will have come from endorsements.

One phrase that is being tossed around is "morals clause." While Woods’s alleged behavior may be morally objectionable to many, that has nothing to do with how "moral" may be legally defined in his various contracts.

Fernando Pinguelo, who has written about morals clauses, said that, like all contract negotiations, the "leverage the ‘talent’ has in a particular deal," as well as the capabilities of his agent, will direct what the clause says. Woods, of course, had maximum bargaining power and top tier representatives.

tiger woodsThough he has not seen any of Woods’s contracts, he speculated that any morals clause would be quite…
continue reading


Tags: , , , ,




The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

Tiger Woods and wife (for now)

Season’s Beatings!

Okay, I know, I don’t normally post pictues that come in my email…

Question is, will Elin kiss and make up with someone who’s missing teeth?

 


Tags: , , ,




No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Wondering what’s been going on with Tiger?

No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock

tigerwoods2 tbiAnother day of silence has left Tiger and Elin Woods with only one option about how to deal with the car crash: Tell the world exactly what happened, and soon.

Of all the stories and speculation that are swirling around, this one from TMZ seems to fit the facts the best.  It’s based on a conversation Tiger reportedly had with a friend yesterday.

We’re told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We’re told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat

for his SUV — but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club…

Tiger then became distracted and hit the hydrant and then a nearby tree.

We’re also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

Startling stuff?

Yes.

But also survivable.

If Tiger was, in fact, scratched and knocked unconscious by his furious wife, Tiger will have paid for whatever mistake he made in a way that most public figures who make that mistake don’t.  This will earn him some sympathy.  Remaining silent for a day to protect Elin will earn him even more.

Elin, meanwhille, appears to have stood up for herself, which will win her some points, too (although not for the manner in which she did it).  People have little respect for the typical stand-by-your-man approach to these things, and the facts suggest Elin may have taken a different route.

What won’t work is a vague reiteration of what Tiger’s camp said on Friday: That Tiger just had a minor car accident. 

The police will get to the bottom of what happened, and unless TMZ is just fabricating sources (we doubt it), Tiger appears to have offered at least one person a more complete and believable version of events. 


continue reading


Tags: , , , , ,




 
 
 

Option Review

La-Z-Boy Options Active Ahead Of Earnings

Today’s tickers: LZB, DD & PRLB

LZB - La-Z-Boy, Inc. – Shares in furniture producer, La-Z-Boy, Inc., increased as much as 3.9% to $19.80 at the start of the session, the highest level since 2004, ahead of the company’s fourth-quarter earnings report after the closing bell today. Options volume is up ahead of the report, with roughly 400 contracts in play this afternoon versus average daily volume of around 80 contracts. Trading in La-Z-Boy call options is outpacing puts, with the call/put ratio up above 4.3 as of the time of this writing. Some traders appear to be p...



more from Caitlin

Zero Hedge

"Tomorrow Is The Big Day"

Courtesy of ZeroHedge. View original post here.

Submitted by Tyler Durden.

From Mike O'Rourke of Jones Trading

Fed-stivities

Drum roll please ... Tomorrow is the big day. 

Market participants have been primed and prepared to watch for any changes to the Fed’s forecast.  The current Fed forecasts for key metrics are as follows.  The 2013 Unemployment Rate is 7.4%.  For the 2014 Unemployment Rate, the Fed is forecasting 6.85%.  The Fed’s 2013 real GDP forecast is 2.55% and its 2014 forecast is 3.15%.  The game plan that Fed watchers have telegraphed is as follows.  If the Fed’s economic forecast remains unchanged, the reduction in the amount of QE purchases (a.k.a. tapering ) should commence in September or October.  If the f...



more from Tyler

Phil's Favorites

The Fed is Not To Blame This Time As Treasuries Sell Off, But There's a Lesson Here

Courtesy of Lee Adler of the Wall Street Examiner

Lately the Wall Street and media noise machine has taken up the Fed bashing bullhorn in conjuring a “reason” to explain the recent selloff in Treasuries. In fact, the Treasury market has been in a bear market for almost a year, with yields making higher lows and higher highs since last July. Admittedly, the Fed’s disjointed, multivoiced, multimode elaphantine dungheap of a communications policy has had the effect of confusing both the punditocracy and big mahoff investors. But I don’t think that that’s the main cause of the turn in the bond market from bull to bear.

In my view, the primary impetus for that turn is that the giant banks who get funding from the ECB- which means essentially all the multinational market behemoths, are rushing willy nilly to r...



more from Ilene

Chart School

S&P 500 Snapshot: Happy Trading Ahead of the Fed

Courtesy of Doug Short.

Today's market meme was "pleasant trading ahead of the Fed." The recently troublesome and highly volatile Nikkei finished the day with a minor slip of -0.20%, and the eurozone was on hold with the EURO STOXX 50 closing a hair below flat at -0.07%. On the home front, the June CPI report for May offered no surprises and the housing numbers (permits and starts) were a bit light but not statistically significant. With no news from June FOMC until tomorrow afternoon, the S&P 500 opened at its intraday low, 0.04% above yesterday's close, and traded with no drama to its intraday high, up 0.92%, in the mid-afternoon. The buying eased in the last 45 minutes of trading and the index closed with a modestly trimmed gain of 0.78%.

Here is a 5-minute look at the week s...



more from Chart School

All About Trends

Mid-Day Update

Reminder: David is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

Click here for the full report.




To learn more, sign up for David's free newsletter and receive the free report from All About Trends - "How To Outperform 90% Of Wall Street With Just $500 A Week." Tell David PSW sent you. - Ilene...

more from David

Market Montage

1995 Redux

Submitted by Mark Hanna

Courtesy of MarketMontage. View original post here.

After the volatile session yesterday, the S&P 500 has broken back above the channel we have been discussing for a few weeks and now the Russell 2000 and NASDAQ appear to be joining (was not the case yesterday).  If not for the focus on the FOMC presser tomorrow you'd have a nice clean breakout starting here.  Tomorrow is of course a major wildcard.

On a related note – the 50 day moving average has been quite the support in 2013. In fact no year other than 1995 in the past 30 comes close to what we are seeing this year.  ...



more from Mark

Insider Scoop

Actavis Files Registration Statement on Form S-4 in Connection with Proposed Warner Chilcott Acquisition

Courtesy of Benzinga.

Actavis (NYSE: ACT) today announced that Actavis Limited ("New Actavis") has filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) a registration statement on Form S-4 in connection with Actavis' proposed acquisition of Warner Chilcott plc (NASDAQ: WCRX), which included a joint proxy statement of Actavis and Warner Chilcott (the "Form S-4").

As previously announced on May 20, 2013, Actavis and Warner Chilcott have entered into a definitive agreement pursuant to which Actavis will acquire Warner Chilcott in a stock-for-stock transaction valued at approximately $8.5 billion (the "Acquisition").

The Form S-4 is available on the SEC's EDGAR system, and may be accessed at ...



http://www.insidercow.com/ more from Insider

Sabrient

What the Market Wants: Market Will Likely Challenge Earlier Highs this Week

Reminder: Sabrient is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

Courtesy of David Brown, Sabrient Systems and Gradient Analytics

The market responded well today to good economic news and to the positive and somewhat surprising response to the election of a moderate Iranian President.  Some moderation in Turkey didn’t hurt either, and overnight positive markets in Asia and Europe gave bullish investors enough encouragement to buy equities broadly. 

This drove all three major domestic indices up about 1% before a late small selloff left the S&P 500 Index up nearly 1% and the Nasdaq and Dow Jones Industrial Average both up well over 0.5%.  We think it likely this week that the market will challenge highs set in late May.

Today’s positive economic news inclu...



more from Sabrient

Stock World Weekly

Stock World Weekly

NEW: Writers are available to chat with Members regarding topics presented in SWW, comments are found below each post.

Click here for the latest Stock World Weekly.  Sign in with your PSW user name and password, or sign up for a free trial. There's an interesting option trade on LULU presented in the newsletter this week. 

Trivia on lululemon via Paul Price, article found in NYTimes. 

Lululemon Athletica Combines Ayn Rand and Yoga

By 

...



more from SWW

OpTrader

Swing trading portfolio - week of June 17th, 2013

Reminder: OpTrader is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

This post is for all our live virtual trade ideas and daily comments. Please click on "comments" below to follow our live discussion. All of our current  trades are listed in the spreadsheet below, with entry price (1/2 in and All in), and exit prices (1/3 out, 2/3 out, and All out).

We also indicate our stop, which is most of the time the "5 day moving average". All trades, unless indicated, are front-month ATM options. 

Please feel free to participate in the discussion and ask any questions you might have about this virtual portfolio, by clicking on the "comments" link right below.

To learn more about the swing trading virtual portfolio (strategy, performance, FAQ, etc.), please click here

Optrader 

...

more from OpTrader

IRA Strategy/Income Trader

The IRA portfolio

Reminder: Craigzooka is available to chat with Members regarding his virtual portfolio performance, comments are found below each post.

By Craigzooka

I am going to share with you how I manage my IRA and the power of reducing your cost basis.  My goal each year is a 20% return in my IRA.  Sometimes I make it and sometimes I don't, but I believe that all of my success is due to reducing my cost basis.  To illustrate the power of reducing your cost basis here are some trades we did last year.  These trades are taken from an educational portfolio we ran in a paper-trading account for a little more than a year.

  • We bought RIG on 5/15/2012 for $44.13, sold it on 1/18/2013 for $46 but booked a profit of $1,154.
  • We bought MT on 1/4/2012 for $19.24, sold it on 12/21/2012 for $15 but booked a profit of $454.
  • We bought CHK on 1/27/2012 for $21.93, sold it on 10/19/2012 for $18 b...


more from Strategies

ETF Selector

Stock Market Gets Big News After Friday’s Close

Courtesy of John Nyaradi.

Stock market posts another record setting week, but the big news came after Friday’s close.

Courtesy of NASA

The stock market put on another record setting show with the Dow Jones Industrial Average (NYSEARCA:DIA) closing at a record high 15,118 and the S&P 500 (NYSEARCA:SPY) closing at 1633.70, another all time closing high.

For the week, the Dow Jones Industrial Average (NYSEARCA:DIA) gained 1%, the S&P 500 (NYSEARCA:SPY) climbed 1.2%, the Nasdaq Composite (NYSEARCA:...



more from John

Pharmboy

Give Them an Inch, They Will Take a Mile

Reminder: Pharmboy is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

Well, well, well....it is good to know that there are others in the scientific arena who believed that YMI Bioscience's data (cough - Gilead) is a better drug than Incyte's Jakafi.  Now, the definitive data are still unknown, but there was enough evidence from a Phase 2 trial to take a small risk for a huge reward.  So, let's forget about Apple (AAPL), and do nothing but biotechs from now until Congress passes universal health care coverage for prescriptions....and drive the prices down so that research and development is no longer feasible to conduct in the US. Even Seattle Genetics (SGEN) has been on a tear as of late...



more from Pharmboy



FeedTheBull - Top Stock market and Finance Sites



About Phil:

Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...

Learn more About Phil >>


As Seen On:




About Ilene:

Ilene is editor and affiliate program coordinator for PSW. She manages the Favorites backup site (blogroll, archives, more). Contact Ilene to learn about our affiliate and content sharing programs.

Favorites Site >>