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Posts Tagged ‘Tiger Woods’

ONION Medley

Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles): 

U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen

Operation Enduring Freedom

WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice. 

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.

"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."

"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."

Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."

"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…

Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:

Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time

TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …

Similarly unsurprising…

Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.

"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine


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Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock 

The lawyer for the porn star who just ruined Tiger Woods’ life again by publishing seriously raunchy text messages is none other than Gloria Allred.

Who is Gloria Allred?  Well, let’s just say she’s no shrinking violet. 

She’s also the lawyer of other alleged Tiger mistresses, including Rachel Uchitel.

Allred was not happy with Tiger’s public apology a few weeks ago.  In fact, she blasted it as pathetic. 

Allred has also been negotiating with Tiger’s attorneys for a settlement on behalf of her clients.

It seems reasonable to assume, therefore, that Allred could have orchestrated the release of today’s sext messages, with the message to Tiger’s attorneys being:

"How’d you like those, fellas?  Lots more where those came from."

Was Allred behind this?  Or did her client Joslyn James just take matters into her own hands?  We contacted Allred and asked her to confirm whether the texts were from Tiger, whether James and Tiger are involved in any legal dispute and which of Tiger’s lady friends Allred is representing. She responded, via email, with a simple, "No comment."

Meanwhile, another question follows from this.  Is this why Tiger hired George Bush’s press man, Ari Fleischer?  Ari’s going to be busy today. 

See Also:  Here’s The Woman Who Just Ruined Tiger Woods’ Life (Again)


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“How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish”

"How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish"

Courtesy of JESSE’S CAFÉ AMÉRICAIN

Were Lloyd and Jamie and the pigmen of Wall Street and Washington taking notes during Tiger Woods’ apology?

Doubtful.

No one is perfect, of course. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins. We are all weak, and insufficient in ourselves. And yet we attempt great things, in fear and trembling. The spirit endures and abides.

But there are moments in history that are epidemic with excess, a pathological pursuit of lust, greed, and deceit with a nihilistic determination that is more like a fashion of the age than an aberration. Chic to be above conventional morality and the law, lacking all proportion. Accepted, and even admired.

Tiger’s words could be the new American Anthem for a generation of reckless, selfish, and self-destructive behaviour by those most blessed by its freedom, offered the greatest opportunities and privileges, sometimes undeserved, and most often paid for by the sacrifice of others.

Most of them still have no regrets, except of course for the fear of discovery. They will have to somehow grow a conscience for that. Or face the withdrawal of support by their sponsors. In the case of Tiger it was Nike. In the case of the Banks it is the US government. And in the case of the US government it is a gullible and complacent public.  

"Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me, have worked with me, always supported me. Now, every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you simply and directly I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behaviour I engaged in. I know people want to find out how i could be so selfish and foolish.

I knew my actions were wrong but I convinced myself that the normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I only thought about myself…

I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt that I was entitled. 

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

I recognize I have brought this on myself


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Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Good for Tiger, and maybe even Buddhism.  Sometimes it takes a life-changing disaster to find a healthier course. We hope Buddhism will help Tiger achieve the hole in one he’s looking for so he can keep his putter in his bag. – Ilene 

Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Courtesy Jay Yarow at Clusterstock/Business Insider

tiger woods conf 4

Tiger Woods just announced plans to focus more on Buddhism to help him get his life together.

This will no doubt disappoint Brit Hume, who infamously suggested Tiger use Christianity to get over his sex addiction.

Tiger says he’s heading back to rehab, and he’ll use the religion to find his center.

See also: 

Tiger Apologizes, Has No Immediate Comeback Plans

Courtesy of Joe Weisenthal at Clusterstock/Business Insider  

 

Below is our just-concluded liveblog of the Tiger Woods apology.

The key points:

  • He’s sorry.


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Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Yep, no surprises here.  – Ilene

Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Tiger On BedCourtesy of John Carney at Clusterstock/Business Insider

Tiger Woods is reportedly planning to go into rehab in Arizona for treatment for ‘sexual compulsion’ and his use of Vicodin painkillers and Ambien sleeping pills.

This, of course, is the way everyone knew this scandal would end.

The news was reported by the British tabloid The Daily Mail.

 


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Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Courtesy of Tim Iacono at The Mess That Greenspan Made

It’s been a while since a Jim Rogers quote graced the pages of this blog – it seems it was well worth the wait after looking at the gems offered up in this interview with CNBC today.

Gov’t Spending Is Like Tiger’s Dating: Jim Rogers

The U.S. government’s plan to increase spending as a way to kick-start the economy will leave the country with no way to help its way out of the next crisis, Jim Rogers, chairman of Jim Rogers Holdings, told CNBC Thursday.

The Treasury Department "has been putting out all of this stimulus and now they’re talking about extending the (Troubled Asset Relief Program)," Rogers said.

Geithner "is a very smart person," but "he’s been wrong about everything for the last 15 years," Rogers said.

"Why are we listening to any of those guys down there? They’re making our situation worse," he said. "They said in writing yesterday the solution to our problem is to spend more money … that’s what got us into this problem: too much debt."

"That’s like saying to Tiger Woods, ‘you get another girlfriend and it will solve your problems’ or ‘five more girlfriends and you will solve your problems,’" he said.

Rogers sees a currency crisis of some sort occurring somewhere around the world sometime in the not-too-distant future and asks how the U.S. government intends to solve future financial and economic crises if they borrow and print so much money to solve the current one, "What are they going to do, quadruple the debt again? Print more money?"

This was one of the best rhetorical questions I’ve heard all year…

 


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Tiger-gate

Courtesy of The Business Insider

IT BEGINS: Gatorade Discontinues Tiger Line

By Joe Weisenthal

tiger woods gatoradeJust in from CNBC: Gatorade says it is discontinuing its "Gatorade Tiger Focus" product line.

"It has nothing to do with recent events," the company says, laughably.

Of course, they’re still sponsoring him, so it’s not a total cut-off.

But this is just the beginning of the damage about to be inflicted on Woods’s very fat pocketbook.

Tiger Woods is now associated with pornstars, domestic disputes, and the hospitalization of his mother-in-law. In other words, he’s toxic.

See Also:

Will "Morals" Clauses Impact Tiger’s Endorsements?

By Erin Geiger Smith, courtesy of The Business Insider

Nike supports Tiger and his family. Our relationship remains unchanged."

Such was Nike’s statement last Wednesday, when we were just a few days (and a few mistresses) into the Tiger Woods scandal.

Nearly a week (and numerous mistresses) later, news came from CNBC that one of Woods’s sponsors, Gatorade, is discontinuing one of its products connected to golf’s biggest star.

Gatorade said the decision had "absolutely nothing to do with recent events," and there is evidence it actually was not scandal-related ("[I]ndustry trade Beverage Digest actually reported the discontinuation of the Gatorade Tiger Focus line on Nov. 25, two days before the accident occurred, CNBC reported).

But as the scandal continues to unfold and additional allegations pour out, no doubt Woods’s sponsors are holding closed door meeting to decide how to move forward.

Woods’s endorsement deals are a massive part of his income.  He is projected to surpass $1 billion in career earnings by 2010, 90% of which will have come from endorsements.

One phrase that is being tossed around is "morals clause." While Woods’s alleged behavior may be morally objectionable to many, that has nothing to do with how "moral" may be legally defined in his various contracts.

Fernando Pinguelo, who has written about morals clauses, said that, like all contract negotiations, the "leverage the ‘talent’ has in a particular deal," as well as the capabilities of his agent, will direct what the clause says. Woods, of course, had maximum bargaining power and top tier representatives.

tiger woodsThough he has not seen any of Woods’s contracts, he speculated that any morals clause would be quite…
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The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

Tiger Woods and wife (for now)

Season’s Beatings!

Okay, I know, I don’t normally post pictues that come in my email…

Question is, will Elin kiss and make up with someone who’s missing teeth?

 


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No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Wondering what’s been going on with Tiger?

No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock

tigerwoods2 tbiAnother day of silence has left Tiger and Elin Woods with only one option about how to deal with the car crash: Tell the world exactly what happened, and soon.

Of all the stories and speculation that are swirling around, this one from TMZ seems to fit the facts the best.  It’s based on a conversation Tiger reportedly had with a friend yesterday.

We’re told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We’re told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat

for his SUV — but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club…

Tiger then became distracted and hit the hydrant and then a nearby tree.

We’re also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

Startling stuff?

Yes.

But also survivable.

If Tiger was, in fact, scratched and knocked unconscious by his furious wife, Tiger will have paid for whatever mistake he made in a way that most public figures who make that mistake don’t.  This will earn him some sympathy.  Remaining silent for a day to protect Elin will earn him even more.

Elin, meanwhille, appears to have stood up for herself, which will win her some points, too (although not for the manner in which she did it).  People have little respect for the typical stand-by-your-man approach to these things, and the facts suggest Elin may have taken a different route.

What won’t work is a vague reiteration of what Tiger’s camp said on Friday: That Tiger just had a minor car accident. 

The police will get to the bottom of what happened, and unless TMZ is just fabricating sources (we doubt it), Tiger appears to have offered at least one person a more complete and believable version of events. 


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Phil's Favorites

Shockingly Bad Fiscal Health of Chicago (and the Financial Engineering Chicago Uses to Hide that Fact)

Courtesy of Mish.

Chicago finances are even worse than I thought which is saying quite a bit because I have written about the sorry state of Chicago finances on numerous occasion.

Kristi Culpepper, a bond guru, has gone over Chicago's annual financial report, bond documents, investor presentations, and CAFRs.  She has uncovered things the City of Chicago does not want anyone to understand.

For example, Culpepper reports Chicago general obligation bond deals have been used by the city as a means to avoid servicing short-term debt. Says Culpepper, "These bonds have received extraordinarily aggressive tax opinions . If the Internal Revenue Service ever gets around to scrutinizing them, your bonds probably won’t be tax exempt for long. Many of these uses of bond proceeds are not eligible for tax-exempt financing under the federal tax code."
...



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Zero Hedge

Our Current Illusion Of Prosperity

Courtesy of ZeroHedge. View original post here.

Submitted by Tyler Durden.

Submitted by Frank Hollenbeck via The Mises Institute,

President Obama and Fed Chair Janet Yellen have been crowing about improving economic conditions in the US. Unemployment is down to 5.5 percent and growth in 2014 hit 2.2 percent.

Journalists and economists point to this improvement as proof that quantitative easing was effective.

Pile on More Debt

Unfortunately, this latest boom is artificial and has been built by adding debt on top of debt. Total household debt increased...



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Chart School

Bulls Continue To Defend Recent Swing Lows

Courtesy of Declan.

Today's losses took indices to test March lows before buyers stepped in to bring things back by the close.

For the Nasdaq, bulls came in at the 50-day MA, although today's action registered as higher volume distribution.


The S&P didn't quite make it to the more significant March low, instead buyers stepped up on the test of last week's swing low. However, technicals returned to net bearishness, with on-balance-volume trending lower across the March double top; whatever late day buying there was, it was outgunned by the selling trend.

...

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All About Trends

Mid-Day Update

Reminder: David is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

Click here for the full report.




To learn more, sign up for David's free newsletter and receive the free report from All About Trends - "How To Outperform 90% Of Wall Street With Just $500 A Week." Tell David PSW sent you. - Ilene...

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Sabrient

Sector Detector: Defensive sectors lead hesitant market, but traders honor long-standing bullish support

Reminder: Sabrient is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

Courtesy of Sabrient Systems and Gradient Analytics

Last week, the major indexes fell back below round-number thresholds that had taken a lot of effort to eclipse. There has been an ongoing ebb-and-flow of capital between risk-on and risk-off, including high sector correlations, which is far from ideal. But at the end of it all, the S&P 500 found itself right back on top of long-standing support and poised for a bounce, and Monday’s action proved yet again that bulls are determined to defend their long-standing uptrend line.

In this weekly update, I give my view of the current market environment, offer a technical analysis of the S&P 500 chart, review our weekly fundamentals-based SectorCast...



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Digital Currencies

Federal Agents Investigating Bitcoin Money Laundering Stole Over $1 Million In Bitcoin

Courtesy of ZeroHedge. View original post here.

This is one of those sad times when The Onion realizes it has badly, and permanently, missed its IPO window.

Just released from the Department of Justice

Former Federal Agents Charged With Bitcoin Money Laundering and Wire Fraud

Agents Were Part of Baltimore’s Silk Road Task Force

Two former federal agents have been charged with wire fraud, money laundering and related offenses for stealing digital currency during their investigation of the Silk Road, an underground black market that al...



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OpTrader

Swing trading portfolio - week of March 30th, 2015

Reminder: OpTrader is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

 

This post is for all our live virtual trade ideas and daily comments. Please click on "comments" below to follow our live discussion. All of our current  trades are listed in the spreadsheet below, with entry price (1/2 in and All in), and exit prices (1/3 out, 2/3 out, and All out).

We also indicate our stop, which is most of the time the "5 day moving average". All trades, unless indicated, are front-month ATM options. 

Please feel free to participate in the discussion and ask any questions you might have about this virtual portfolio, by clicking on the "comments" link right below.

To learn more about the swing trading virtual portfolio (strategy, performance, FAQ, etc.), please click here ...



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Promotions

Watch the Phil Davis Special on Money Talk on BNN TV!

Kim Parlee interviews Phil on Money Talk. Be sure to watch the replays if you missed the show live on Wednesday night (it was recorded on Monday). As usual, Phil provides an excellent program packed with macro analysis, important lessons and trading ideas. ~ Ilene

 

The replay is now available on BNN's website. For the three part series, click on the links below. 

Part 1 is here (discussing the macro outlook for the markets) Part 2 is here. (discussing our main trading strategies) Part 3 is here. (reviewing our pick of th...

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Market Shadows

Kimble Charts: South Korea's EWY

Kimble Charts: South Korea's EWY

By Ilene 

Chris Kimble likes the iShares MSCI South Korea Capped (EWY), but only if it breaks out of a pennant pattern. This South Korean equities ETF has underperformed the S&P 500 by 60% since 2011.

You're probably familiar with its largest holding, Samsung Electronics Co Ltd, and at least several other represented companies such as Hyundai Motor Co and Kia Motors Corp.

...



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Option Review

Cypress Semi Draws Bullish Option Plays

Bullish trades abound in Cypress Semiconductor options today, most notably a massive bull call spread initiated in the July expiry contracts. One strategist appears to have purchased 30,000 of the Jul 16.0 strike calls at a premium of $0.89 each and sold the same number of Jul 19.0 strike calls at a premium of $0.22 apiece. Net premium paid to put on the spread amounts to $0.67 per contract, thus establishing a breakeven share price of $16.67 on the trade. Cypress shares reached a 52-week high of $16.25 back on Friday, March 13th, and would need to rally 4.6% over the current level to exceed the breakeven point of $16.25. The spread generates maximum potential profits of $2.33 per contract in the event that CY shares surge more than 20% in the next four months to reach $19.00 by July expiration. Shar...



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Pharmboy

2015 - Biotech Fever

Reminder: Pharmboy is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

PSW Members - well, what a year for biotechs!   The Biotech Index (IBB) is up a whopping 40%, beating the S&P hands down!  The healthcare sector has had a number of high flying IPOs, and beat the Tech Sector in total nubmer of IPOs in the past 12 months.  What could go wrong?

Phil has given his Secret Santa Inflation Hedges for 2015, and since I have been trying to keep my head above water between work, PSW, and baseball with my boys...it is time that something is put together for PSW on biotechs in 2015.

Cancer and fibrosis remain two of the hottest areas for VC backed biotechs to invest their monies.  A number of companies have gone IPO which have drugs/technologies that fight cancer, includin...



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Stock World Weekly

Stock World Weekly

Newsletter writers are available to chat with Members regarding topics presented in SWW, comments are found below each post.

Here's this week's Stock World Weekly.

Click here and sign in with your user name and password. 

 

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Help One Of Our Own PSW Members

"Hello PSW Members –

This is a non-trading topic, but I wanted to post it during trading hours so as many eyes can see it as possible.  Feel free to contact me directly at jennifersurovy@yahoo.com with any questions.

Last fall there was some discussion on the PSW board regarding setting up a YouCaring donation page for a PSW member, Shadowfax. Since then, we have been looking into ways to help get him additional medical services and to pay down his medical debts.  After following those leads, we are ready to move ahead with the YouCaring site. (Link is posted below.)  Any help you can give will be greatly appreciated; not only to help aid in his medical bill debt, but to also show what a great community this group is.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-get-shadowfax-out-from-the-darkness-of-medical-bills-/126743

Thank you for you time!




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About Phil:

Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...

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About Ilene:

Ilene is editor and affiliate program coordinator for PSW. She manages the site market shadows, archives, more. Contact Ilene to learn about our affiliate and content sharing programs.

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