Now for a little humor (thanks to James Hamilton for mentioning).
For a Bailout, Press ‘One’ . . .
By Alan Neff, in the Washington Post.
Excerpt: "Hello! You’ve reached the United States Treasury‘s automated bailout hotline. Please listen carefully, because our options have recently changed. If you’re too big to fail, press or say ‘one.’ If not, hang up and dial 1-800-FOR-FEMA.’ "
"One."
"Great! You’ve selected Option One. If you’re a bank, press or say ‘one.’ If you’re a brokerage firm, press or say ‘two.’ If you’re an insurance company, press or say ‘three.’ "
"Three."
"You’ve selected Option Three, which means you’re an insurance firm. Did I get that right?"
"Yes."
"Okay, let’s drill down a little further. If you’re calling because you’re besieged by class-action lawsuits brought by take-no-prisoners plaintiffs’ attorneys because your large corporate policyholders committed innumerable mass toxic torts, press or say ‘one.’ If you’re calling because you insured billions of dollars’ worth of undocumented, nonperforming mortgages, press or say ‘two.’ "
"Two. No, wait, one. I mean, uh, both."
"I’m sorry. I didn’t understand. Let’s try something else…."
Finish call here.
