The Stay Puft Marshmallow Doctrine
Something is broken in the current policy of brinksmanship with Iran, and something unusual might be needed to restore a status quo.
Yesterday, a drone thought to be launched by Iranian proxies killed three American soldiers in Jordan, on the Syrian border. All talk now is of escalation. President Joe Biden said the United States “shall respond,” adding that the response would occur “at a time and in a manner [of] our choosing.” For once I would like to hear a world leader vow to devastate the enemy in a manner and time of the enemy’s choosing. “Choose the date,” they could say, “and tell us which five of your most vital navy vessels we will turn into an artificial reef.” The model for this retribution would be the first Ghostbusters film, where a vengeful god invites the heroes to “choose the form of the destructor,” then reads Dan Aykroyd’s mind and shows up as a murderous, Godzilla-size mascot for Stay Puft Marshmallows.
