Posts Tagged ‘Tiger Woods’

ONION Medley

Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles): 

U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen

Operation Enduring Freedom

WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice. 

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.

"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."

"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."

Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."

"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…

Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:

Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time

TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …

Similarly unsurprising…

Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.

"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine


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Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock 

The lawyer for the porn star who just ruined Tiger Woods’ life again by publishing seriously raunchy text messages is none other than Gloria Allred.

Who is Gloria Allred?  Well, let’s just say she’s no shrinking violet. 

She’s also the lawyer of other alleged Tiger mistresses, including Rachel Uchitel.

Allred was not happy with Tiger’s public apology a few weeks ago.  In fact, she blasted it as pathetic. 

Allred has also been negotiating with Tiger’s attorneys for a settlement on behalf of her clients.

It seems reasonable to assume, therefore, that Allred could have orchestrated the release of today’s sext messages, with the message to Tiger’s attorneys being:

"How’d you like those, fellas?  Lots more where those came from."

Was Allred behind this?  Or did her client Joslyn James just take matters into her own hands?  We contacted Allred and asked her to confirm whether the texts were from Tiger, whether James and Tiger are involved in any legal dispute and which of Tiger’s lady friends Allred is representing. She responded, via email, with a simple, "No comment."

Meanwhile, another question follows from this.  Is this why Tiger hired George Bush’s press man, Ari Fleischer?  Ari’s going to be busy today. 

See Also:  Here’s The Woman Who Just Ruined Tiger Woods’ Life (Again)


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“How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish”

"How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish"

Courtesy of JESSE’S CAFÉ AMÉRICAIN

Were Lloyd and Jamie and the pigmen of Wall Street and Washington taking notes during Tiger Woods’ apology?

Doubtful.

No one is perfect, of course. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins. We are all weak, and insufficient in ourselves. And yet we attempt great things, in fear and trembling. The spirit endures and abides.

But there are moments in history that are epidemic with excess, a pathological pursuit of lust, greed, and deceit with a nihilistic determination that is more like a fashion of the age than an aberration. Chic to be above conventional morality and the law, lacking all proportion. Accepted, and even admired.

Tiger’s words could be the new American Anthem for a generation of reckless, selfish, and self-destructive behaviour by those most blessed by its freedom, offered the greatest opportunities and privileges, sometimes undeserved, and most often paid for by the sacrifice of others.

Most of them still have no regrets, except of course for the fear of discovery. They will have to somehow grow a conscience for that. Or face the withdrawal of support by their sponsors. In the case of Tiger it was Nike. In the case of the Banks it is the US government. And in the case of the US government it is a gullible and complacent public.  

"Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me, have worked with me, always supported me. Now, every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you simply and directly I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behaviour I engaged in. I know people want to find out how i could be so selfish and foolish.

I knew my actions were wrong but I convinced myself that the normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I only thought about myself…

I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt that I was entitled. 

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

I recognize I have brought this on myself


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Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Good for Tiger, and maybe even Buddhism.  Sometimes it takes a life-changing disaster to find a healthier course. We hope Buddhism will help Tiger achieve the hole in one he’s looking for so he can keep his putter in his bag. – Ilene 

Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Courtesy Jay Yarow at Clusterstock/Business Insider

tiger woods conf 4

Tiger Woods just announced plans to focus more on Buddhism to help him get his life together.

This will no doubt disappoint Brit Hume, who infamously suggested Tiger use Christianity to get over his sex addiction.

Tiger says he’s heading back to rehab, and he’ll use the religion to find his center.

See also: 

Tiger Apologizes, Has No Immediate Comeback Plans

Courtesy of Joe Weisenthal at Clusterstock/Business Insider  

 

Below is our just-concluded liveblog of the Tiger Woods apology.

The key points:

  • He’s sorry.


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Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Yep, no surprises here.  – Ilene

Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Tiger On BedCourtesy of John Carney at Clusterstock/Business Insider

Tiger Woods is reportedly planning to go into rehab in Arizona for treatment for ‘sexual compulsion’ and his use of Vicodin painkillers and Ambien sleeping pills.

This, of course, is the way everyone knew this scandal would end.

The news was reported by the British tabloid The Daily Mail.

 


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Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Courtesy of Tim Iacono at The Mess That Greenspan Made

It’s been a while since a Jim Rogers quote graced the pages of this blog – it seems it was well worth the wait after looking at the gems offered up in this interview with CNBC today.

Gov’t Spending Is Like Tiger’s Dating: Jim Rogers

The U.S. government’s plan to increase spending as a way to kick-start the economy will leave the country with no way to help its way out of the next crisis, Jim Rogers, chairman of Jim Rogers Holdings, told CNBC Thursday.

The Treasury Department "has been putting out all of this stimulus and now they’re talking about extending the (Troubled Asset Relief Program)," Rogers said.

Geithner "is a very smart person," but "he’s been wrong about everything for the last 15 years," Rogers said.

"Why are we listening to any of those guys down there? They’re making our situation worse," he said. "They said in writing yesterday the solution to our problem is to spend more money … that’s what got us into this problem: too much debt."

"That’s like saying to Tiger Woods, ‘you get another girlfriend and it will solve your problems’ or ‘five more girlfriends and you will solve your problems,’" he said.

Rogers sees a currency crisis of some sort occurring somewhere around the world sometime in the not-too-distant future and asks how the U.S. government intends to solve future financial and economic crises if they borrow and print so much money to solve the current one, "What are they going to do, quadruple the debt again? Print more money?"

This was one of the best rhetorical questions I’ve heard all year…

 


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Tiger-gate

Courtesy of The Business Insider

IT BEGINS: Gatorade Discontinues Tiger Line

By Joe Weisenthal

tiger woods gatoradeJust in from CNBC: Gatorade says it is discontinuing its "Gatorade Tiger Focus" product line.

"It has nothing to do with recent events," the company says, laughably.

Of course, they’re still sponsoring him, so it’s not a total cut-off.

But this is just the beginning of the damage about to be inflicted on Woods’s very fat pocketbook.

Tiger Woods is now associated with pornstars, domestic disputes, and the hospitalization of his mother-in-law. In other words, he’s toxic.

See Also:

Will "Morals" Clauses Impact Tiger’s Endorsements?

By Erin Geiger Smith, courtesy of The Business Insider

Nike supports Tiger and his family. Our relationship remains unchanged."

Such was Nike’s statement last Wednesday, when we were just a few days (and a few mistresses) into the Tiger Woods scandal.

Nearly a week (and numerous mistresses) later, news came from CNBC that one of Woods’s sponsors, Gatorade, is discontinuing one of its products connected to golf’s biggest star.

Gatorade said the decision had "absolutely nothing to do with recent events," and there is evidence it actually was not scandal-related ("[I]ndustry trade Beverage Digest actually reported the discontinuation of the Gatorade Tiger Focus line on Nov. 25, two days before the accident occurred, CNBC reported).

But as the scandal continues to unfold and additional allegations pour out, no doubt Woods’s sponsors are holding closed door meeting to decide how to move forward.

Woods’s endorsement deals are a massive part of his income.  He is projected to surpass $1 billion in career earnings by 2010, 90% of which will have come from endorsements.

One phrase that is being tossed around is "morals clause." While Woods’s alleged behavior may be morally objectionable to many, that has nothing to do with how "moral" may be legally defined in his various contracts.

Fernando Pinguelo, who has written about morals clauses, said that, like all contract negotiations, the "leverage the ‘talent’ has in a particular deal," as well as the capabilities of his agent, will direct what the clause says. Woods, of course, had maximum bargaining power and top tier representatives.

tiger woodsThough he has not seen any of Woods’s contracts, he speculated that any morals clause would be quite…
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The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

Tiger Woods and wife (for now)

Season’s Beatings!

Okay, I know, I don’t normally post pictues that come in my email…

Question is, will Elin kiss and make up with someone who’s missing teeth?

 


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No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Wondering what’s been going on with Tiger?

No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock

tigerwoods2 tbiAnother day of silence has left Tiger and Elin Woods with only one option about how to deal with the car crash: Tell the world exactly what happened, and soon.

Of all the stories and speculation that are swirling around, this one from TMZ seems to fit the facts the best.  It’s based on a conversation Tiger reportedly had with a friend yesterday.

We’re told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We’re told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat

for his SUV — but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club…

Tiger then became distracted and hit the hydrant and then a nearby tree.

We’re also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

Startling stuff?

Yes.

But also survivable.

If Tiger was, in fact, scratched and knocked unconscious by his furious wife, Tiger will have paid for whatever mistake he made in a way that most public figures who make that mistake don’t.  This will earn him some sympathy.  Remaining silent for a day to protect Elin will earn him even more.

Elin, meanwhille, appears to have stood up for herself, which will win her some points, too (although not for the manner in which she did it).  People have little respect for the typical stand-by-your-man approach to these things, and the facts suggest Elin may have taken a different route.

What won’t work is a vague reiteration of what Tiger’s camp said on Friday: That Tiger just had a minor car accident. 

The police will get to the bottom of what happened, and unless TMZ is just fabricating sources (we doubt it), Tiger appears to have offered at least one person a more complete and believable version of events. 


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Phil's Favorites

Map: The Countries With the Most Oil Reserves

Courtesy of Jeff Desjardins, Visual Capitalist

Map: The Countries With the Most Oil Reserves

There’s little doubt that renewable energy sources will play a strategic role in powering the global economy of the future.

But for now, crude oil is still the undisputed heavyweight champion of the energy world.

In 2018, we consumed more oil than any prior year in history – about 99.3 million barrels per day on a global basis. This number is projected to rise again in 2019 to 100.8 million barrels per day.

The Most Oil Reserves by Country ...

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Zero Hedge

Map: The Countries With the Most Oil Reserves

Courtesy of Jeff Desjardins, Visual Capitalist

Map: The Countries With the Most Oil Reserves

There’s little doubt that renewable energy sources will play a strategic role in powering the global economy of the future.

But for now, crude oil is still the undisputed heavyweight champion of the energy world.

In 2018, we consumed more oil than any prior year in history – about 99.3 million barrels per day on a global basis. This number is projected to rise again in 2019 to 100.8 million barrels per day.

The Most Oil Reserves by Country ...

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Insider Scoop

4 Stocks Moving In Monday's After-Hours Session

Courtesy of Benzinga.

Gainers
  • Cadence Design Systems Inc (NASDAQ: CDNS) shares are up 5 percent after reporting a first-quarter earnings beat. Earnings came in at 54 cents per share, beating estimates by 5 cents. Sales came in at $576.742 million, beating estimates by $7.5 million. The company issued strong second-quarter and 2019 earnings and sales guidance.
  • Whirlpool Corporation (NYSE: WHR) shares are up 5 percent after reporting a first-quarter earnings beat....


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Chart School

Weekly Market Recap Apr 21, 2019

Courtesy of Blain.

This past week was the definition of “consolidation” – a period of very little movement and volatility after a large move up to work off overbought conditions.  A slight gap up Tuesday was about it in terms of excitement for the week.  Bulls remain in full control.

We are in the midst of earnings season – it is not a great one but companies have lowered the bar enough that they will “beat”, everyone will clap and cheer, and we continue on.

The first-quarter earnings outlook has improved somewhat, according to CFRA, which said consensus estimates now call for a 2.3% fall in first-quarter operating earnings a share. That is up from the call for a 3% drop ahead of the kickoff of earnings season, but down from the 4.5% increase projected at the end of last year...



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Digital Currencies

5 Cryptocurrency Tax Questions To Ask On April 15th

Courtesy of ZeroHedge. View original post here.

Authored by David Kemmerer via CoinTelegraph.com,

Depending on what country you live in, your cryptocurrency will be subject to different tax rules. The questions below address implications within the United States, but similar issues arise around the world. As always, check with a local tax professional to assess your own particular tax situation.

...



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Kimble Charting Solutions

Silver Bear Market Faces Big Price Support Test!

Courtesy of Chris Kimble.

When silver, gold, and the precious metals industry were red-hot bullish in the 2000’s, investors could do no wrong.

You could buy SILVER at just about any price and it would go higher.

In today’s chart, you can see three large green bullish ascending triangles from the 2000’s that lead to big gains. But that was the bull market before the current bear market.

The tables have turned since the 2011 price top. Silver quickly formed a bearish descending triangle and fell another 50 percent when that broke down. This sent a vicious bear mark...



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ValueWalk

More Examples Of "Typical Tesla "wise-guy scamminess"

By Jacob Wolinsky. Originally published at ValueWalk.

Stanphyl Capital’s letter to investors for the month of March 2019.

rawpixel / Pixabay

Friends and Fellow Investors:

For March 2019 the fund was up approximately 5.5% net of all fees and expenses. By way of comparison, the S&P 500 was up approximately 1.9% while the Russell 2000 was down approximately 2.1%. Year-to-date 2019 the fund is up approximately 12.8% while the S&P 500 is up approximately 13.6% and the ...



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Biotech

Marijuana is a lot more than just THC - a pharmacologist looks at the untapped healing compounds

Reminder: We are available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

 

Marijuana is a lot more than just THC - a pharmacologist looks at the untapped healing compounds

Assorted cannabis bud strains. Roxana Gonzalez/Shutterstock.com

Courtesy of James David Adams, University of Southern California

Medical marijuana is legal in 33 states as of November 2018. Yet the federal government still insists marijuana has no legal u...



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Members' Corner

Despacito - How to Make Money the Old-Fashioned Way - SLOWLY!

Are you ready to retire?  

For most people, the purpose of investing is to build up enough wealth to allow you to retire.  In general, that's usually enough money to reliably generate a year's worth of your average income, each year into your retirement so that that, plus you Social Security, should be enough to pay your bills without having to draw down on your principle.

Unfortunately, as the last decade has shown us, we can't count on bonds to pay us more than 3% and the average return from the stock market over the past 20 years has been erratic - to say the least - with 4 negative years (2000, 2001, 2002 and 2008) and 14 positives, though mostly in the 10% range on the positives.  A string of losses like we had from 2000-02 could easily wipe out a decades worth of gains.

Still, the stock market has been better over the last 10 (7%) an...



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Mapping The Market

It's Not Capitalism, it's Crony Capitalism

A good start from :

It's Not Capitalism, it's Crony Capitalism

Excerpt:

The threat to America is this: we have abandoned our core philosophy. Our first principle of this nation as a meritocracy, a free-market economy, where competition drives economic decision-making. In its place, we have allowed a malignancy to fester, a virulent pus-filled bastardized form of economics so corrosive in nature, so dangerously pestilent, that it presents an extinction-level threat to America – both the actual nation and the “idea” of America.

This all-encompassing mutant corruption saps men’s souls, crushes opportunities, and destroys economic mobility. Its a Smash & Grab system of ill-gotten re...



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OpTrader

Swing trading portfolio - week of September 11th, 2017

Reminder: OpTrader is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

 

This post is for all our live virtual trade ideas and daily comments. Please click on "comments" below to follow our live discussion. All of our current  trades are listed in the spreadsheet below, with entry price (1/2 in and All in), and exit prices (1/3 out, 2/3 out, and All out).

We also indicate our stop, which is most of the time the "5 day moving average". All trades, unless indicated, are front-month ATM options. 

Please feel free to participate in the discussion and ask any questions you might have about this virtual portfolio, by clicking on the "comments" link right below.

To learn more about the swing trading virtual portfolio (strategy, performance, FAQ, etc.), please click here ...



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Promotions

Free eBook - "My Top Strategies for 2017"

 

 

Here's a free ebook for you to check out! 

Phil has a chapter in a newly-released eBook that we think you’ll enjoy.

In My Top Strategies for 2017, Phil's chapter is Secret Santa’s Inflation Hedges for 2017.

This chapter isn’t about risk or leverage. Phil present a few smart, practical ideas you can use as a hedge against inflation as well as hedging strategies designed to assist you in staying ahead of the markets.

Some other great content in this free eBook includes:

 

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About Phil:

Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...

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Ilene is editor and affiliate program coordinator for PSW. She manages the site market shadows, archives, more. Contact Ilene to learn about our affiliate and content sharing programs.

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