Posts Tagged ‘Tiger Woods’

ONION Medley

Sampling several articles from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source (click on titles for whole articles): 

U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Osaka Binn Rogen

Operation Enduring Freedom

WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice. 

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it’s been.

"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."

"We have only one thing to say to this heinous individual," Gates added. "We will find you, Osaka Binn Rogen."

Based upon field surveillance and intelligence, officials recently widened the search for Orlama Win Roben by dispatching CIA paramilitary officers and Delta Force soldiers to track down, capture, or assassinate the terrorist leader, who has been described as a "very bad, very tall guy with a beard."

"Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin’s face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."…

Here’s a little something we may have suspected, but now there’s a scientific study:

Study: Shoving, Yelling Makes Things Go Faster 76% Of Time

TUCSON, AZ—Researchers at the University of Arizona released a study Monday showing a causal relationship between raising one’s voice, pushing people in the chest, and getting what you want more quickly. …

Similarly unsurprising…

Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.

"Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks," said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. "What we found was that cocaine


continue reading


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,




Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Has Attack-Lawyer Gloria Allred Launched A Coordinated Assault On Tiger Woods?

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock 

The lawyer for the porn star who just ruined Tiger Woods’ life again by publishing seriously raunchy text messages is none other than Gloria Allred.

Who is Gloria Allred?  Well, let’s just say she’s no shrinking violet. 

She’s also the lawyer of other alleged Tiger mistresses, including Rachel Uchitel.

Allred was not happy with Tiger’s public apology a few weeks ago.  In fact, she blasted it as pathetic. 

Allred has also been negotiating with Tiger’s attorneys for a settlement on behalf of her clients.

It seems reasonable to assume, therefore, that Allred could have orchestrated the release of today’s sext messages, with the message to Tiger’s attorneys being:

"How’d you like those, fellas?  Lots more where those came from."

Was Allred behind this?  Or did her client Joslyn James just take matters into her own hands?  We contacted Allred and asked her to confirm whether the texts were from Tiger, whether James and Tiger are involved in any legal dispute and which of Tiger’s lady friends Allred is representing. She responded, via email, with a simple, "No comment."

Meanwhile, another question follows from this.  Is this why Tiger hired George Bush’s press man, Ari Fleischer?  Ari’s going to be busy today. 

See Also:  Here’s The Woman Who Just Ruined Tiger Woods’ Life (Again)


Tags: , , , , , ,




“How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish”

"How Could I Be So Selfish and So Foolish"

Courtesy of JESSE’S CAFÉ AMÉRICAIN

Were Lloyd and Jamie and the pigmen of Wall Street and Washington taking notes during Tiger Woods’ apology?

Doubtful.

No one is perfect, of course. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins. We are all weak, and insufficient in ourselves. And yet we attempt great things, in fear and trembling. The spirit endures and abides.

But there are moments in history that are epidemic with excess, a pathological pursuit of lust, greed, and deceit with a nihilistic determination that is more like a fashion of the age than an aberration. Chic to be above conventional morality and the law, lacking all proportion. Accepted, and even admired.

Tiger’s words could be the new American Anthem for a generation of reckless, selfish, and self-destructive behaviour by those most blessed by its freedom, offered the greatest opportunities and privileges, sometimes undeserved, and most often paid for by the sacrifice of others.

Most of them still have no regrets, except of course for the fear of discovery. They will have to somehow grow a conscience for that. Or face the withdrawal of support by their sponsors. In the case of Tiger it was Nike. In the case of the Banks it is the US government. And in the case of the US government it is a gullible and complacent public.  

"Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me, have worked with me, always supported me. Now, every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you simply and directly I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behaviour I engaged in. I know people want to find out how i could be so selfish and foolish.

I knew my actions were wrong but I convinced myself that the normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I only thought about myself…

I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt that I was entitled. 

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

I recognize I have brought this on myself


continue reading


Tags: , , , ,




Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Good for Tiger, and maybe even Buddhism.  Sometimes it takes a life-changing disaster to find a healthier course. We hope Buddhism will help Tiger achieve the hole in one he’s looking for so he can keep his putter in his bag. – Ilene 

Tiger Is Doubling Down On Buddhism To Get Over His Sex-Addiction

Courtesy Jay Yarow at Clusterstock/Business Insider

tiger woods conf 4

Tiger Woods just announced plans to focus more on Buddhism to help him get his life together.

This will no doubt disappoint Brit Hume, who infamously suggested Tiger use Christianity to get over his sex addiction.

Tiger says he’s heading back to rehab, and he’ll use the religion to find his center.

See also: 

Tiger Apologizes, Has No Immediate Comeback Plans

Courtesy of Joe Weisenthal at Clusterstock/Business Insider  

 

Below is our just-concluded liveblog of the Tiger Woods apology.

The key points:

  • He’s sorry.


continue reading


Tags: , , , , , ,




Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Yep, no surprises here.  – Ilene

Tiger Woods Is Headed To Rehab For Sex Compulsion

Tiger On BedCourtesy of John Carney at Clusterstock/Business Insider

Tiger Woods is reportedly planning to go into rehab in Arizona for treatment for ‘sexual compulsion’ and his use of Vicodin painkillers and Ambien sleeping pills.

This, of course, is the way everyone knew this scandal would end.

The news was reported by the British tabloid The Daily Mail.

 


Tags: , , , ,




Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Jim Rogers on the Tiger Woods solution

Courtesy of Tim Iacono at The Mess That Greenspan Made

It’s been a while since a Jim Rogers quote graced the pages of this blog – it seems it was well worth the wait after looking at the gems offered up in this interview with CNBC today.

Gov’t Spending Is Like Tiger’s Dating: Jim Rogers

The U.S. government’s plan to increase spending as a way to kick-start the economy will leave the country with no way to help its way out of the next crisis, Jim Rogers, chairman of Jim Rogers Holdings, told CNBC Thursday.

The Treasury Department "has been putting out all of this stimulus and now they’re talking about extending the (Troubled Asset Relief Program)," Rogers said.

Geithner "is a very smart person," but "he’s been wrong about everything for the last 15 years," Rogers said.

"Why are we listening to any of those guys down there? They’re making our situation worse," he said. "They said in writing yesterday the solution to our problem is to spend more money … that’s what got us into this problem: too much debt."

"That’s like saying to Tiger Woods, ‘you get another girlfriend and it will solve your problems’ or ‘five more girlfriends and you will solve your problems,’" he said.

Rogers sees a currency crisis of some sort occurring somewhere around the world sometime in the not-too-distant future and asks how the U.S. government intends to solve future financial and economic crises if they borrow and print so much money to solve the current one, "What are they going to do, quadruple the debt again? Print more money?"

This was one of the best rhetorical questions I’ve heard all year…

 


Tags: , , ,




Tiger-gate

Courtesy of The Business Insider

IT BEGINS: Gatorade Discontinues Tiger Line

By Joe Weisenthal

tiger woods gatoradeJust in from CNBC: Gatorade says it is discontinuing its "Gatorade Tiger Focus" product line.

"It has nothing to do with recent events," the company says, laughably.

Of course, they’re still sponsoring him, so it’s not a total cut-off.

But this is just the beginning of the damage about to be inflicted on Woods’s very fat pocketbook.

Tiger Woods is now associated with pornstars, domestic disputes, and the hospitalization of his mother-in-law. In other words, he’s toxic.

See Also:

Will "Morals" Clauses Impact Tiger’s Endorsements?

By Erin Geiger Smith, courtesy of The Business Insider

Nike supports Tiger and his family. Our relationship remains unchanged."

Such was Nike’s statement last Wednesday, when we were just a few days (and a few mistresses) into the Tiger Woods scandal.

Nearly a week (and numerous mistresses) later, news came from CNBC that one of Woods’s sponsors, Gatorade, is discontinuing one of its products connected to golf’s biggest star.

Gatorade said the decision had "absolutely nothing to do with recent events," and there is evidence it actually was not scandal-related ("[I]ndustry trade Beverage Digest actually reported the discontinuation of the Gatorade Tiger Focus line on Nov. 25, two days before the accident occurred, CNBC reported).

But as the scandal continues to unfold and additional allegations pour out, no doubt Woods’s sponsors are holding closed door meeting to decide how to move forward.

Woods’s endorsement deals are a massive part of his income.  He is projected to surpass $1 billion in career earnings by 2010, 90% of which will have come from endorsements.

One phrase that is being tossed around is "morals clause." While Woods’s alleged behavior may be morally objectionable to many, that has nothing to do with how "moral" may be legally defined in his various contracts.

Fernando Pinguelo, who has written about morals clauses, said that, like all contract negotiations, the "leverage the ‘talent’ has in a particular deal," as well as the capabilities of his agent, will direct what the clause says. Woods, of course, had maximum bargaining power and top tier representatives.

tiger woodsThough he has not seen any of Woods’s contracts, he speculated that any morals clause would be quite…
continue reading


Tags: , , , ,




The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

The Official Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

Tiger Woods and wife (for now)

Season’s Beatings!

Okay, I know, I don’t normally post pictues that come in my email…

Question is, will Elin kiss and make up with someone who’s missing teeth?

 


Tags: , , ,




No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Wondering what’s been going on with Tiger?

No Way Out For Tiger Woods Other Than The Truth

Courtesy of Henry Blodget at Clusterstock

tigerwoods2 tbiAnother day of silence has left Tiger and Elin Woods with only one option about how to deal with the car crash: Tell the world exactly what happened, and soon.

Of all the stories and speculation that are swirling around, this one from TMZ seems to fit the facts the best.  It’s based on a conversation Tiger reportedly had with a friend yesterday.

We’re told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We’re told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat

for his SUV — but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club…

Tiger then became distracted and hit the hydrant and then a nearby tree.

We’re also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

Startling stuff?

Yes.

But also survivable.

If Tiger was, in fact, scratched and knocked unconscious by his furious wife, Tiger will have paid for whatever mistake he made in a way that most public figures who make that mistake don’t.  This will earn him some sympathy.  Remaining silent for a day to protect Elin will earn him even more.

Elin, meanwhille, appears to have stood up for herself, which will win her some points, too (although not for the manner in which she did it).  People have little respect for the typical stand-by-your-man approach to these things, and the facts suggest Elin may have taken a different route.

What won’t work is a vague reiteration of what Tiger’s camp said on Friday: That Tiger just had a minor car accident. 

The police will get to the bottom of what happened, and unless TMZ is just fabricating sources (we doubt it), Tiger appears to have offered at least one person a more complete and believable version of events. 


continue reading


Tags: , , , , ,




 
 
 

Phil's Favorites

Rogue science strikes again: The case of the first gene-edited babies

 

Rogue science strikes again: The case of the first gene-edited babies

Chinese scientists led by He Jiankui claimed they used CRISPR to modify human embryos that eventually were born as twin girls. AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein

Courtesy of G. Owen Schaefer, National University of Singapore

The idea of scientists tinkering with the genes of babies was once the provenance of science fiction, but now it’s apparently entered the realm of reality: On Nov. 26, Chinese scientist He Jiankui reported the historic live births of ...



more from Ilene

Zero Hedge

Trump Administration Considering Issuance Of 50, 100-Year Treasuries

Courtesy of ZeroHedge View original post here.

The last time the US was seriously considering issuing ultra-long dated bonds - those with a maturity of 50 and 100 years - was back in late 2016 and early 2017, when yields were near the record lows hit in recent days. As we reported back in November 2016, shortly after Steven Mnuchin was confirmed as US Treasury Secretary, the former Goldman banker proceeded to roil the bond market when he told CNBC he would look at extending the maturity of future Tr...



more from Tyler

Insider Scoop

Heavy Volume Drives Low-Float Stock Plus Therapeutics Up 200%

Courtesy of Benzinga

Plus Therapeutics Inc (NASDAQ: PSTV) is the latest and one of the most extreme recent examples of the powerful combination of low float and heavy trading volume.

Plus shares traded higher by more than 215% on Friday. The biotech stock more than tripled after the company reported ...



http://www.insidercow.com/ more from Insider

Lee's Free Thinking

Long Term Stock Market Chart Perspective

Courtesy of Lee Adler

After a big day like yesterday, I like to get a little long term stock market chart perspective. (Yes, this stilted verbiage is for search engine optimization ).

We do that with a monthly bar chart, which I update when relevant in Lee Adler’s Technical Trader. That’s in addition to the regular daily bar/cycle charts covering the past year, and a weekly cycle chart covering the past 4 years.

I wrote on July 14, in reference to the price and indicator patterns on the weekly chart:

The market has overshot a 3-4 year cycle projection in terms of both price and time. There are no long term projections. A 4 year cycle high is ideally due now. A 4 ye...



more from Lee

Kimble Charting Solutions

S&P About To Decline 14%, Catching Up With The Crude Oil Declines?

Courtesy of Chris Kimble

This chart looks at the performance of the S&P 500, Crude Oil and the Yield on the 10-Year note over the past 4-months.

Crude Oil has declined around 14% more than the S&P during this time frame. Yields have declined, even more, around 36%. The is a huge spread between these assets over this short of a time period.

A few importa...



more from Kimble C.S.

Chart School

Bitcoin 2019 fractal with Gold 2013

Courtesy of Read the Ticker

Funny how price action patterns repeat, double tops, head and shoulders. These are simply market fractals of supply and demand.

More from RTT Tv

Ref: US Crypto Holders Only Have a Few Days to Reply to the IRS 6173 Letter

Today's news from the US IRS has been blamed for the recent price slump, yet the bitcoin fractal like the gold fractal suggest the market players have set bitcoin up for a slump to $9000 USD long before the IRS news hit the wire.

Get the impression some market players missed out on the b...

more from Chart School

The Technical Traders

Global Central Banks Move To Keep The Party Rolling - Part III

Courtesy of Technical Traders

This section of our multi-part article regarding current and past central bank actions, we are going to attempt to look at key elements of the past and present to highlight what we believe may turn out to be an incredible “setup” in the global markets. 

This setup is almost like a complex chess game where two skilled players battle for control and near the end of the game, one player is left with the King, a Rook, and a Pawn while the other player has a dramatic advantage with stronger chess pieces.  Yet, as the game continues, the weaker player is able to remove one or two of the stronger players key pieces and move his pawn to his opponent’s side to r...



more from Tech. Traders

Digital Currencies

New Zealand Becomes 1st Country To Legalize Payment Of Salaries In Crypto

Courtesy of ZeroHedge View original post here.

Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies have been on a persistent upswing this year, but they're still pretty volatile. But during a time when even some of the most developed economies in the word are watching their currencies bounce around like the Argentine peso (just take a look at a six-month chart for GBPUSD), New Zealand has decided to take the plunge and become the first country to legalize payment in bitcoin, the FT reports.

The ruling by New Zealand’s tax authority allows salaries and wages to b...



more from Bitcoin

Mapping The Market

How IPOs Are Priced

Via Jean Luc 

Funny but probably true:

...

more from M.T.M.

Biotech

DNA testing companies offer telomere testing - but what does it tell you about aging and disease risk?

Reminder: We're is available to chat with Members, comments are found below each post.

 

DNA testing companies offer telomere testing – but what does it tell you about aging and disease risk?

A telomere age test kit from Telomere Diagnostics Inc. and saliva. collection kit from 23andMe. Anna Hoychuk/Shutterstock.com

Courtesy of Patricia Opresko, University of Pittsburgh and Elise Fouquerel, ...



more from Biotech

Members' Corner

Despacito - How to Make Money the Old-Fashioned Way - SLOWLY!

Are you ready to retire?  

For most people, the purpose of investing is to build up enough wealth to allow you to retire.  In general, that's usually enough money to reliably generate a year's worth of your average income, each year into your retirement so that that, plus you Social Security, should be enough to pay your bills without having to draw down on your principle.

Unfortunately, as the last decade has shown us, we can't count on bonds to pay us more than 3% and the average return from the stock market over the past 20 years has been erratic - to say the least - with 4 negative years (2000, 2001, 2002 and 2008) and 14 positives, though mostly in the 10% range on the positives.  A string of losses like we had from 2000-02 could easily wipe out a decades worth of gains.

Still, the stock market has been better over the last 10 (7%) an...



more from Our Members

Promotions

Free eBook - "My Top Strategies for 2017"

 

 

Here's a free ebook for you to check out! 

Phil has a chapter in a newly-released eBook that we think you’ll enjoy.

In My Top Strategies for 2017, Phil's chapter is Secret Santa’s Inflation Hedges for 2017.

This chapter isn’t about risk or leverage. Phil present a few smart, practical ideas you can use as a hedge against inflation as well as hedging strategies designed to assist you in staying ahead of the markets.

Some other great content in this free eBook includes:

 

·       How 2017 Will Affect Oil, the US Dollar and the European Union

...

more from Promotions





About Phil:

Philip R. Davis is a founder Phil's Stock World, a stock and options trading site that teaches the art of options trading to newcomers and devises advanced strategies for expert traders...

Learn more About Phil >>


As Seen On:




About Ilene:

Ilene is editor and affiliate program coordinator for PSW. She manages the site market shadows, archives, more. Contact Ilene to learn about our affiliate and content sharing programs.

Market Shadows >>